One of the best ways to participate in the election process and still not vote for the slew of candidates who can be incredibly poor is to write-in a candidate you think would do a better job than those who are listed, or more importantly, send a message that even fictional characters would be a better fit. The City of Apple Valley recently posted the write-in results for the 2012 election (beginning on page 14). The list is full of the usual characters and while there were no big surprises, I did laugh at some of them:
President/VP:
Batman – 1
Christ, Jeshua – 1
Christ, Jesus – 1
Colbert, Stephen – 2
Little Old Men – 1
Mouse, Mickey – 1
Sasquatch – 1
Simpson, Homer Jay – 1
US Rep – District 2:
Bird, Big – 1
Roosevelt, Teddy – 1
Council Members:
Beefcake, B – 1
Bergman, John – 1
Bob, Sponge – 1
Bunyan, Paul – 1
Burke, Timothy – 2
Johanssen, Scarlett – 1
Keeler, Garrison – 1
Me – 4
Monster, Cookie – 1
Mouse, Mickey – 3
Obama – 1
Now, I’m all for voting for Mickey Mouse, in fact I did it for several of the races where all the available candidates were completely and utterly unacceptable. However, I have to point out the votes for people like “John Bergman” who already sites on the Apple Valley City Council and “Timothy Burke” who is a Farmington resident and sits on the ISD192 School Board.
When you’re voting for a particular office and you don’t like the options presented do you just leave it blank and move on to the next, do you pick someone out of the choices available and go with the flow, or do you write-in a different candidate’s name (fictitious, dead, famous, currently running for another office, or ineligible because they are located in a different municipality all together)? Do you generally stick to one name throughout the entire ballot or do you just make up random names for each (i.e. The Lizard People)? Whatever you have to say about this one go ahead and comment on below.
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November 14th, 2012 at 7:20 am
One possible use for this is if you want to be absolutely, positively sure your ballot was counted, you can write in a joke candidate for some random office you don’t care about.
I was tempted to write in Tyrion Lannister for something, myself.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:25 am
I don’t think Minneapolis counts the write-ins, other than saying how many write-ins total there were. Something about you have to be a registered write-in to win, so we only count them when there are registered write-ins. I know when I was judge years and years ago we had to count them, but not anymore. Maybe I should actually look this up….
November 14th, 2012 at 8:28 am
Any of those people would fit right in with the clowns already holding the offices.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:36 am
I’d like to see the Burnsville write ins for mayor. I bet there were at least 50 votes for frau farbissina from people wondering why she was not on the ballot.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:40 am
I haven’t written in anyone since Gigg’s mayoral campaign back in 2008 I think? It was Mayor Mary or Lance the Spitter, so I campaigned for Giggs. My friend who is an election judge ripped me a new one for sponsoring this effort as they had to stay after and hand cound ballots.
November 14th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I suppose it is that I have too much respect for the right to vote that I wouldn’t consider writing in a joke, regardless of my opinion of any particular candidate.
I expect my elected officials to do their job, and because of that, I take my responsibility seriously as well.
My expectations are rarely met.
November 14th, 2012 at 8:28 pm
I write my husband’s name in on attorney general. We could use the money.
November 15th, 2012 at 1:22 am
I wrote my name in once for District Attorney in college since I was stupid and he was the only candidate for the position and was a member of the “other party.” A few months later I was negotiating with him in a court room as he agreed to lower a speeding ticket for me. Nice guy.
I don’t write in anyone anymore. For the seats in which neither candidate appealed to me, I just didn’t vote for anyone.
I’d like to see the Burnsville results because a friend said he wrote me in for mayor and I’m curious to see if he really did. He was adamant that he did. I really wouldn’t want anyone thinking I’d actually write my own name in for that position.
November 15th, 2012 at 10:09 am
Please keep in mind that the precinct’s election officials have to hand-tally all write-ins at the end of a long day for which they’re paid a token amount of money — they do it for the sake of the community. If there’s a serious write-in candidate in a race, please do vote for him or her. Otherwise, consider entertaining a more appreciative audience, such as Facebook or Lazy Lightning, with your witty disapproval of the available political choices, rather than the worn-out election officials.
November 15th, 2012 at 10:13 am
Jill,
In order to ensure that my vote is not being modified after-the-fact, I am obligated to fill in a response for every option presented to me. If I do not like these presented options, I must fill in something to protect my vote.
Election officials CHOOSE to be a part of the process at that level. This isn’t mandatory service like jury duty. Don’t want to have to deal with the bullshit, don’t volunteer to do it.
November 15th, 2012 at 11:48 am
Bill, does that apply to all areas/jobs or just election judges? They really have to just “put up” with bullshit like people hilariously writing fake names on the ballot? Well, I’m off to create havoc in my office bathroom because 1) it’ll be really funny to me and 2) those custodians choose to work there so they can just clean it all up.
Part of me knows where you’re coming from and agrees, to an extent. But damn, that’s a cynical attitude. :)
November 15th, 2012 at 11:52 am
Jason, as I stated already, I don’t consider the act of counting write-in votes to be anything except an understood and necessary part of the job.
That would be like saying that the custodian shouldn’t have to clean up shit in bathrooms and people should hold that shit in until they get home.
November 15th, 2012 at 12:02 pm
It would help if we had a “None of the above” option, like Nevada.
November 15th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
The flaw there, Jill, is that “None of the above” would (and should) probably win most of the races around here.
I have no idea how that can possibly work in Nevada.
November 15th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Bill, I totally agree that counting write-in votes is an understood and necessary part of the job. It just seems kinda wrong to me to let people off the hook for going in there and writing in “Heywood Jablome” for Seventh District Supreme Soil and Water Commander while laughing to themselves like Beavis or Butthead. That’s just disrespectful to the whole process and the people who are volunteering to serve the community.
But I also know that I’m the idiot for expecting more out of the dumbasses out there.
November 15th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Based on the numbers provided, it would appear that most are choosing “NO ONE”. I don’t know if this is something people have written in or if the election judges are using that as a default catchall when someone marks the write-in spot and doesn’t actually write anyone in.