This evening I was paging through the Dakota County Criminal Complaints Archive and this one (original in PDF here) happened to catch my eye. A four count felony complaint about a man who threatened and choked his girlfriend and then went on to tell the police that he would kill them if they questioned him before he was ready.
While I’m not going to quote the whole thing as it’s there for you to read in all of it’s glory, I felt it imperative that I bring to light the disturbing evidence that there are apparently some bad motherfuckers running around Apple Valley:
The officer inquired of Childs about the gun. Childs admitted to the officer that he always carried a gun because there are “bad mother fuckers out there.” Childs told the officer several times that he would never be without a gun.
While I don’t want to minimize the victim’s horrendous experience, if I were the cop I have to admit that I wouldn’t be worried for my life, I’d be worried that I’d breakdown laughing at this guy on the phone.
Would you be able to remain composed talking to this guy? Do you believe there to be some bad motherfuckers out and about in Apple Valley? Go ahead and comment on, I honestly want to know if I should be laughing sitting still or laughing while en route to the nearest gun show.
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April 15th, 2009 at 7:49 am
Scary.. hell no I wouldn’t be laughing at this one, he’s off center and probably would shoot a cop. There are some bad folks in AV- he’s one!
April 15th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I bet he drinks Pepsi.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
LOL!!!!!! Go walk around by the target center…
April 15th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
That officer was probably pleased as punch to keep handing that man all the rope he needed to hang himself. But laughing…no after reading that account I can’t see laughing.
April 15th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
im laughing sitting still if you ask me… i grew up in these “bad mother fucker” lands and have yet to see anyone live up to his “report”. I’ll let you know if i see any..i bet they roll around bachman’s or ihop
April 15th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
I love how it was actually worded as such in the report, like it’s official terminology. :)
Maybe the recent rise in crime can specifically be traced to these bad motherfuckers. Perhaps the presence of motherfuckers by themselves was something that could be kept in check, but now that the bad ones are around, it’s a whole ‘nother story. Perhaps they can get a grant? “$100,000 to Apple Valley for bad motherfucker deterrent programs.”
April 16th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
This, of course, raises the question: “where have all the good motherfuckers gone?”
May 29th, 2009 at 6:21 am
#7 Response:
Your question raises more questions. What’s the difference between a good mf and a bad mf? Does “bad” really mean “good,” or does “bad” truly mean “bad.”
Anyway, living in Happy Valley as long as I have, I must have missed seeing them, but I have a feeling they’re on the way.