Cincinnati Rollergirls vs. Minnesota Garda-Belts(originally uploaded by Jason Bechtel)

Kim and I have been going to see the Minnesota RollerGirls for a while now and this season we were season ticket holders. Although, the more often we go, the more I realize that too many things have changed and I’m less and less interested in the bouts :( I have some suggestions on how to keep us as season ticket holders and I really hope that at least some of my concerns are addressed…

1. We were originally very interested in track-side seating which brought you right up close to the action including having the rollergirls sliding across the floor, after a good bit of bumping and/or elbowing, and into your spot. Unfortunately, starting this season, track-side seats have been pushed back and a safety buffer zone has been created to appease the insurance gods.Obviously there is little that the MNRG can do to bring back the allure of the track-side seats but for those that are season ticket holders, I can’t imagine that the hard floor (sometimes limited with the MNRG ass pads) and very little leg room is all that comfortable when you don’t really get any benefit out of it. Kevin, a fellow season ticket holder, mentioned that he has absolutely no interest in track-side seating not only because of the points I have mentioned above but also the lack of decent sight lines to the action. I couldn’t agree more.

2. Those of us with season tickets that were not offered an opportunity to receive track-side seats, end up in General Admission (with floor access). While that’s all well and good, this week we were displaced from our regular seat choices by “Reserved” seating for various groups. I might be missing something but I honestly feel that season ticket holders should have the first choice on seating above anyone else and *we* should be the ones that have “Reserved” signs on the chairs, not some group that might show up to a handful of bouts at best.

3. The bouts are less violent, less thrilling, and are coming down to be more defensive than offensive games. While I realize all of that is quite a mouthful, it is really grating on me. I have chatted with Kevin about it and while he enjoys the low scores and slow action, I just find it boring. Yes, it takes quite a bit of team work and talent to slow the pack and make sure the jammers aren’t getting through but it reminds me of baseball — long, drawn out, and boring at times.

There were rumors last year of some serious team drama with the girls being upset that some teammates were going for the individual glory and not doing their parts to elevate their teams to team wins. Personally, I loved the standouts that were kicking ass all over the place last year. Yes, there are still standouts, and they happen to be many of the same individuals — now they are just standing out in different ways and it doesn’t entertain me in the least. Boo on drama.

4. The entertainment at half-time hasn’t been improving much. This year, during Occupational Hazards, I was so absolutely disgusted with the Corpse Show Creeps, that I ended up standing ouside the auditorium while holding my hands over my ears hoping the bad man would stop. The Corpse Show Creeps didn’t appreciate my comments and decided to copy the content of my blog onto their lame MySpace page and let their deaf fans comment like children.

I am sure that the budget is low but I would honestly rather see 30 minutes of people pulling bike stunts, jumping up and down on trampolines, or absolutely no one at all than put up with the Corpse Show Creeps or almost any of the other bands they have had recently. Keep the Alpenrose Polka Band and we can do away with the rest of this crud.

5. Line jumpers. Kevin’s family, Kim and I usually end up at the match at least 1.5 hours ahead of time and that used to net us a spot in the first 5 spots in line. Recently, probably due to the popularity of the kick ass t-shirts the MNRG have been giving out to the first 200 through the door, the line has been getting long — really long and we will need to start arriving at least 2 hours in advance to end up in the same location. That’s all fine, I have no problems with doing that (although, I’d be less concerned about getting there that early if I had reserved seating!) but the line jumpers are fucking pissing me off. Kim and I were about 60 people back in line at 5:00 for the 6:30 doors. At 6:10 we were about 150 back!

It’s not like there aren’t enough security people, who are constantly being a fucking pain in the ass about how we decide to line up for the event. Someone should clue the security personnel into the fact that they are not only rude and unprofessional but that they aren’t doing their jobs all that well.

6. Lack of communication about the season ticket process. We had to send several e-mails asking for timeline updates as they kept running over the deadlines they mentioned after we had submitted our form and fees. It was a little frustrating not knowing much and only being able to receive information after, sometimes, weeks of waiting!

Overall, I still enjoy going to the bouts and having something to do on random Saturday nights. I know the girls themselves have a lot of say about what happens with their teams and the entire operation. I really hope that they can implement some of the little things I’ve listed above and make the experience of those that are willing to support them all that much better.

Kim and I hooked up with Kevin and headed up to the Roy Wilkins Auditorium for the first Minnesota RollerGirls bout of the year entitled Occupational Hazards.

It was a Sunday bout, which I wasn’t a fan of at all, as I kinda wanted to stay at home and just veg but being that we’re season ticket holders and all, I figured we best just go ;)

We arrived just before 5:30 (I believe it was 5:27 as Kevin and I discussed the exact time) and were pretty damn surprised to see that the line was as long as it was. We are usually there about an hour ahead of time and are less than 5 people deep but today there were at least 50 people in front of us (and growing by the minute it seemed). Everyone wanted what Kevin and Kim explained as their favorite free t-shirt of the year. Kim wants the rest of the t-shirts for the season (if there are any) to be the remaining team colors. Personally, it was my least favorite but I’ll be wearing it to work none-the-less.

The opening act was the ALT Boys Freestyle Team who had a couple of ramps setup in a short little area with plenty of room to crash into people if something went wrong. Thankfully, there were very few incidents and those always occurred near the ramps so no one in the crowd was injured. The best part of the show came right at the end…

Something boring, back flip, back flip, something I don’t know, and a crazy fucking front flip:

The bout itself was extremely boring for me tonight. There were very little contact and the scores were crazy low. I suppose they are starting to become even more skilled, know how to operate more successfully as a team and keep the matches tight but for me, that makes it crap. There was only a few instances of any mean-spirited contact which included the inevitable pointless fist action right at the end of the entire match.

I won’t bore you with the video I have of any of the jams because, well, you can see them at any of my other posts here.

I was surprised at the number of people in the crowd on a Sunday but it wasn’t anything like the crowd they had on hand for the start of the 2007 season. I suppose that one wasn’t on a Sunday however. The crowd was pretty subdued and most left during the HORRIFYING and absolutely fucking miserably TERRIBLE half-time show by the Corpse Show Creeps (warning MySpace link, yuck).

The Corpse Show Creeps seriously forced me out of the main part of the venue to suck in the fumes from the smokers area immediately outside the venue that were sucked back in and available for all to hack on. I thought I was safe standing there but the Roy Wilkins now has video screens in the sales area so that you could witness the filth that those douchebags were putting on. Imagine a death metal band with 50s pompadours and you have them made. BLEH.

Anyway, we were home by 10 PM and I watched another episode of The F Word on BBC America and then went to bed. I suppose, in the end, it was better than vegging out on the couch all night :)

Out at the Minnesota RollerGirls bout with the Rockits vs the Duke City Derby’s Muencas Muertas and the Atomic Bombshells vs the Denver Roller Dolls‘ Mile High Club.

Opening entertainment was by the Twin Cities Unicycle Club and a half-time show by the Bratwurst Brothers. I took some great videos of the Unicycle Club, who were National Champs this summer, who put on an absolutely awesome show. The smallish crowd went wild for them! If you ever have an opportunity to see them perform, do so and you won’t be disappointed.

Kevin reminded me that the first 200 people through the door would get a free t-shirt, very much like the last bout, Trick or Beat. Kim and I arrived before 5:10 and were about 8th in line. Woot! They took better care to ensure the line was orderly so everyone that qualified on their t-shirt. They only had Small and Large (much like last time) and they look pretty fucking sweet with a mean bitch holding a turkey on the front. Kim was hoping for a shirt that wasn’t Thanksgiving themed but no such luck for her.

After we nabbed our seats right up front I headed over to the concession stand to pickup some waters and a snack for Kim. Unfortunately for Centerplate (the suckass douches that they are) they were not taking credit cards tonight. It’s really a serious fucking pain in the ass to have to carry cash along with all of our other shit and I enjoy the convenience of using a CC. Well there will be no purchases by me tonight. Tough shit for Centerplate and their revenue — hopefully they learn their lesson and if any of you assholes are out there an apology for being retarded would rock.

The Rockits started it off really slow. No one, including several of the RollerGirls sitting trackside in front of us, knew what the fuck they were doing but whatever it was it wasn’t scoring many points. Thankfully the team work and blocking came together by the end of the period and the Rockits went in tied 49-49.

Before the Bombshells’ came out, the announcer from Denver (decked out in an undersized repairman’s outfit with shorts and cowboy boots) introduced their team and I spent this time laughing hysterically at him. Rumblebee turned around from her track-side seat and said, “Girls need their entertainment too!” heh!
The Atomic Bombshells came out of the gate slow as well during their period. Kevin made the good point that Denver’s girls probably aren’t even close to being winded due to their training at altitude. Both teams weren’t bumping much but when the hard hits came, they rocked. The Bombshells went in after the period close but still down 63 to 43. Bummer.

The Bratwurst Brothers, apparently the new name of Alpenrose, came out and gave another awesome polka show encouraging (and succeeding) everyone to come down and party on the floor. They should seriously stop fucking around with the other acts and just make them the only half-time entertainment show as they absolutely fucking rule.

The Rockits were back at it after half-time playing a physical game but the scoring remained minimal. I have heard the rumors but it really seemed like the changes made to their match style has hurt them. In the end they lost the bout 81 to 76. I can’t say I’m all that impressed with what I saw come out of the 2008 Rockits so far :(

The Atomic Bombshells got absolutely smoked during the second period. They were out skated, out blocked, and just outclassed. Once Denver passed 100 the fights should have started and the penalties racking up faster than points for the other team. Unfortunately no such thing occurred and the bout went on for 15 more boring minutes and ended with a score of 113 to 69.

Overall another fun but nearly engery-less and nearly empty (fan wise) bout. I really think that the change in track-side seating has taken the wind out of the sails of the MN RG :( Fuck insurance companies and bring back the excitement! Seriously.