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Final South Metro News Dump

Published July 25th, 2008 in Apple Valley, Bloomington, Burnsville, Rosemount, South Metro | No Comments »

Our last night on vacation. We have an early morning flight from SAV to MEM and then on to MSP. After a tux fitting for a friend’s wedding in Ohio later this summer and a trip up to Crystal to get Buddy, we’ll be doing nothing for the rest of the weekend other than grocery shopping — I hope.

This will be the last installment of my quick links for South Metro news and I promise (much to everyone’s dismay I’m sure) that I’ll be back to my usual bitching and endless whining about random South Metro “News” topics after tonight.

1. US Army Corps of Engineers have completed their preliminary inspection of UMore and have determined they need to spend more time there. They go on to say that they found nothing unexpected. I’m not quite sure that this is news but I figured I’d pass it along because I have covered UMore quite a lot in the past.

2. Bloomington residents fought against another Target store and won. I can’t believe that both residents and city planners in the area have the balls to tell Target to go fuck themselves. Maybe they will build another fucking SuperTarget in Apple Valley instead. My favorite part of the article was that Target apparently started a public relations campaign to fight the “big box-store backlash in Bloomington” (say that fucker 7x fast).

3. In Burnsville, the ever so awesome City Council approved even more parking spaces because well, there just isn’t enough concrete and bullshit in The Heart of the City, so they figure they should add more at a cost of $100,000.

4. A third Burnsville mayoral candidate, who’s against the long standing current mayor, has joined the race on the anti-arts center ticket. Looks like people in Burnsville are listening! The best quote from that article was this:

“I think our mayor’s a nice lady, and I’ve talked to her several times, but she’s got this idea she’d rather do things her way than do what the people think,” Haedtke said. “I think that’s a major problem.”

5. The fucking stupid and pointless Apple Valley Liquor Store #3 located by that stupid and unnecessary second SuperTarget will have an HVAC system powered by geothermal energy so that we won’t have to pay even more for this overly expensive store which is only being built to beat out the oversized Lakeville store down CR-46 which was built on 10 acres of parkland recently. Maybe this will save some money which will cover the costs to expand the fiber-optic network out to this fucking store which shouldn’t have been built anyway:

*O. Adopt Resolution Awarding Contract for Expansion of Fiber-Optic Network to Liquor
Store No. 3.

Bloomington Biking Bridge: Replace or Renovate?

Published July 12th, 2008 in Bloomington, South Metro | 7 Comments »

Long Meadow Lake Bridge originally uploaded by bolobilly

I posted before that during this year’s legislative session, $2 million was set aside to finally get a pedestrian/biking bridge to replace the currently condemned truss bridge that spans the Minnesota river between Burnsville and Bloomington. The bridge was closed to all traffic, including foot, in 2002 and there has been no pedestrian/bike route from the South of the River to North of the River on this side of town since. At this time, the only option is to ride your ass all the way down to Shakopee and cross near 169.

According to the Star Tribune, because federal money was set aside for this bridge, there is a clause that requires it be evaluated by historians to determine if renovation should occur rather than outright replacement. The bridge is apparently eligible to be placed on the National Register of Historic Places and several people who have a vested interest in seeing it remain as a historic place are fighting to do just that. Denis Gardner, author of a book about historic bridges in Minnesota, Larry Granger of the Bloomington Historical Society, and Sen. Jim Carlson DFL-Eagan are all interested in keeping the bridge as is but only if it’s financially feasible. The other side of the coin is that during its most recent tests, the bridge just wasn’t structurally sound. Jim Gates, Bloomington’s deputy director of public works, said that repairing the bridge would be more expensive than just replacing it.

Estimates including road repair, trail building and bridge costs total about $4.5 million and, at this time, will come from federal funding, Met Council dollars, and Bloomington taxpayers. The city hopes that they will be able to get additional dollars from Hennepin and Dakota counties, Burnsville and Eagan who will hook their hike/bike trails to this bridge. While costs for replacement have been considered, no one is quite sure what the cost would be for renovations. A historical assessment will begin in August and will take approximately two months. Once that is complete it will give everyone a better idea of just how much historical preservation would run but I really wonder what the decision makers consider “financially feasible”.

dgbrong, a commenter on the Star Tribune said:

It’s a bridge. It’s old and worn out. Replace it already.

What do you think? Should the bridge be replaced or should it be renovated, possibly adding a larger tax burden on Dakota and Hennepin taxpayers along with Bloomington, Burnsville and Eagan residents?

Did the Legislature Fuck Over the South Metro?

Published June 4th, 2008 in Apple Valley, Bloomington, Burnsville, Lakeville, South Metro | 11 Comments »

An article in the Star Tribune’s South Metro section popped up this morning entitled “Legislature mostly kind to southern suburbs” which talks about the ups and downs of 2008 legislative session for the South Metro.

1. Commuter Rail Service from Northfield to Minneapolis

A real big issue, especially for those that want the rail service (like residents of the South Metro who will never ever fucking see LRT service because of the hurdles it will take to cross The River. The most disturbing part of all of this is the fact that legislators from Edina, Bloomington and Lakeville have successfully blocked any and all consideration of the project several years ago.

Personally, I really think we need more commuter rail service ideas coming through, especially when gas prices are out the fucking ass. Enough with the non-sense about it endangering our children. Helicopter parents are all over that shit not permitting their kids to do anything without their every move being watched like flies on shit (well, except when they’re riding their bikes in townhouse developments).

2. Burnsville’s Quarry Project

A huge and disastrous waste of funds to convert an old quarry into a “park” along The River which likely won’t see any fruit until at least 2040. Analogous to the moronic fucking Heart of the City project which was denied funding by the legislature because the pointless project was already moving forward without their help (at least someone had some semblance of a brain on that one).

My favorite quote from the Star Tribune’s piece is that this piece of shitty property is labeled a “mini-Grand Canyon”. Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little — probably from the stench wafting over from the enormous landfill and one of the nastiest sections of the Minnesota River.

To claim it will be the size of Lake Harriet is to do nothing other than try and put the idea in people’s heads that this $1 billion project will somehow make Burnsville’s next pet project something like Lake Harriet.

3. Replacement Bridge over the Minnesota River for Bikers

Thank fucking God! Finally, they approved some funding to replace the only viable option for those looking to bike from the South Metro to the other side of the river without having to travel down MN-13 to US-169 to cross. I never thought I’d see the day when that bridge was for anything other than those willing to risk life and limb to spray paint concrete stanchions under Cedar or to fish precariously from the rusted bridge instead of standing directly adjacent to the Black Dog Power Plant.

4. Traffic Improvement Funding

$55 million dollars to match what was necessary to receive $130+ million in federal dollars to alleviate traffic congestion along Cedar and 35W. The ideas include fucking toll roads that no one will use, much like the unused HOV lanes we already have, accelerated bus transit which was hotly contested by the Save Downtown Apple Valley folks.

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Personally, I think the South Metro got the short end of the stick. More fucking pet projects were funded (such as the biker bridge due to whom Pawlenty was paying back Rep. Ann Lenczewski, a DFLer from Bloomington, who has supported his desire for an unnecessary and expensive second phase at the MoA), important projects like commuter rail continue to be ignored and Burnsville ends up with entirely too much money for a stupid park on a shitty piece of land that cannot be commercially developed next to a fucking landfill.

UFOs in Dakota County?

Published April 9th, 2008 in Bloomington, Eagan, South Metro | 8 Comments »

According to an article that appeared in the Dakota County Tribune (hosted by the illustrious Thisweek Live, Bill McNeff of the Mutual UFO Network claims that there have been more than 50 UFO sightings in Dakota County of which 30 referenced intelligent beings. Being that I’m as skeptical as the next person I checked out their database and only found 11 listed some of which go back as far as August of 1953 and nothing since May of 2006.

Now, I looked through the listings (it’s based out of a perl script and I’m too lazy to get you linked straight to any of these, sorry) and saw this gem from September 20th, 1973 that was posted in late October of 2006:

9/20/2006 7:15-30 PM
Jessica and I were driving home from having dinner, just as the sun was setting. We were heading west on Cliff Rd in Eagan. The night was cool (50s) and clear with a brilliant blue sky. The only exception being some clouds that looked like they had been painted in the sky. The clouds looked like they had been created by the strokes of a paint brush using violet colored paint. They formed the shape of a flame. The source of the flame appeared to be yellow glow of the sun that was now hidden by the earth. This caused a few clouds toward the horizon to appear to be bright orange. The shape of these clouds looked awesome in the bright blue sky. The sight was so impressive that we pulled over to get a better view of this beautiful sunset (at the Park and Ride at Cliff Rd, Blackhawk Rd and 35E). Then something caught my eye, just above where the clouds ended. It looked like a black dot or disk off to the south-west of us. At first I thought it might be a helicopter, but then I thought that it was too high in the sky to be a helicopter. I kept looking over at it as we drove home, which was probably just about a half a mile in distance. As I kept looking over at the object, it did not seem to move at all. When we got home, I went to a clearing on a near by hill and found the object still in the same spot in the sky. I sat and observed the object and it seemed to be stationary for the most part, only moving slightly from time to time. A few times I saw an energy surrounding the object like an aura. It almost looked like there was a tiny black hole in the bright blue sky. Besides the energy that I saw around the object, I never saw any other lights come from it. At the same time planes were passing through the area, heading north toward the Minneapolis/St Paul airport for a landing. Using them as a reference I would say the black object was at least 30-40,000 feet above the earth. After observing this object for about 5 minutes, it stated to move west and slightly north in a somewhat straight line. The object did not move that fast. Many planes flew past me in the same time it took the object to be position just south and almost directly over head of me. Then as the object continued to travel in a westerly direction, it started to gain altitude and began going in and out of sight until it was no long visible in the now dimming sky.

9/20/2006 around Midnight to 12:30 AM
Then around midnight, I was about to go outside to enjoy the clear night sky when I sense beings roaming around inside our house. The energy they created in the house startled Jessica and woke her up. Prompting her to come out and ask what I was doing. Telling me to come back inside and shut the door. She told me that I was freaking her out, though it was really the energy of the beings that was making her uneasy. I could feel from time to time, me and a being’s energy pass through one another or my body being touched by these beings. This lasted for about a half hour and then I could sense the energy leave the house. Then Jessica went back to bed and I went out to enjoy the clear night sky.

PS. I have attached a photo that I found out on the net that looks similar to what I saw in the sky that day, so it is not a photo of what I actually saw.

Now, this is quite a bit of detail for someone remembering an event that occurred 30 years prior and some of the language makes them seem like they might have been partying with Ken Kesey. Feeling energy around you, auras, clouds painted in the sky, etc are all common interpretations of what those under the influence of psychedelics would recall.

Now, if none of that is the case and they did indeed see all of what they claim to have, I have to take it all with a grain of salt when they give their PS that they have attached a photo similar to what they saw and then offer a representation like this.

Any of you seen a UFO, while high or not, in Dakota County?

2007 South Metro Restaurant Flashback

Published December 31st, 2007 in Apple Valley, Bloomington, Burnsville, Eagan, Lakeville, Restaurants, Reviews, South Metro | No Comments »

Going back through my reviews from 2007 I found that I visited entirely too many restaurants even though I took nearly three months off this summer. There have been some diamonds in the rough but many, many disappointing experiences. Here’s a quick glance back at where we ate in 2007 (in date order):

1. Enjoy! in Apple Valley, MN.

On January 20th, 2007 we joined up with Aaron, Mindy, Chris, Laura, and Josh to celebrate our close birthdays together. Kim and I had visited Enjoy! in 2004 with my parents and found it mediocre. After reading that Enjoy! had revamped their menu, most likely to compete with the Copper Bleu in Lakeville, we decided to give it another shot and weren’t disappointed.

2. Tandoor Indian Restaurant in Bloomington, MN

On February 2nd, 2007 we met up with Tim and Meredith for an evening of Indian food in a busy strip mall next to a Red Lobster in Bloomington, MN. Three of us thought the food was pretty decent and one of us (Kim) didn’t care much for it.

3. Houlihan’s in Eagan, MN.

On February 16th, 2007 Kim and I tried out the chain restaurant Houlihan’s located right off of 35E in Eagan. Even though I normally despise chain restaurants, this one was far from your usual experience at Chili’s or Applebee’s and we were thoroughly impressed. While we haven’t been back yet, we are planning on it again soon. It currently resides in the top three of our favorite restaurants.

4. El Patio Authentic Mexican Restaurant in Lakeville, MN

On April 20th, 2007 Kim and I went out to El Patio to try it out after reading that Steve Eck and the Star Tribune thought it was noteworthy. The only noteworthy item I could find at this location was that the Star Tribune’s reviewers don’t know their ass from third base about food and shouldn’t be trusted, ever.

5. Two Guys from Italy in Apple Valley, MN

On June 19th, 2007 Kim and I visited this restaurant which went on to become one of our most popular reviews of all time with over 10,000 views and many comments from both visitors and staff. I had my reservations about the restaurant well before I stepped inside and within seconds my opinions were cemented with a sub-par experience and one we will never repeat. Comments from both visitors and staff center on the confusing ordering system, lack of quality food and the fact that the owner has failed in numerous other ventures following the success of his location in Edina that the one in Apple Valley apparently doesn’t even come close to achieving.

6. Tucci Benucch at the Mall of America in Bloomington, MN.

On June 29th, 2007, Kim and I joined up with Laura while Chris was out of town on business and enjoyed an excellent meal in this chain located in the Mall of America. The service was friendly and prompt and the food was definitely better than we ever expected. Chris hates The Mall and will probably never step foot inside again but Kim and Laura are chafing at the bit to get back to have another great meal — maybe while he’s out of town again this spring ;)

7. Satay 2 Go Asian Cuisine and Bakery in Apple Valley, MN.

I had several readers recommend that I try out Satay and for whatever reason it took me several months to get out and get there. All I can say is that I regretted not going there earlier and Kim and I have returned almost weekly to visit this little gem located in the parking lot of Home Depot. This is only Apple Valley restaurant to achieve a spot on our top restaurants list and currently sits as #1 for many reasons including superior service and unbelievably good food.

8. Luxury Sweets Gelateria in Apple Valley, MN.

Kim is more of a sweet treats fan than I am but I enjoy a good gelato or ice cream now and again. This is the only location in Apple Valley where you can get homemade gelato in a large space across from Kami Japanese Steakhouse. I’m surprised they are able to sell enough to survive in their location, especially that another restaurant Jan’s Brown Bag Deli closed its doors so quickly after opening, but they have and they are keeping their loyal customers returning time and time again for those treats.

9. Brianno’s Deli Italia in Eagan, MN.

Another reader recommendation ended up drawing me into this tiny little spot hidden away from the hustle and bustle of Cliff Road just off of Cedar in Eagan on July 19th, 2007. I ate some absolutely excellent sausage, peppers and onions but Kim’s sandwich wasn’t anything but ordinary. If you’re looking for a nice place to get some Italian foods, good meats and some treats, this is your place.

10. Bucky’s Soup Sandwiches Salads in Apple Valley, MN.

On September 23rd, 2007 after much dieting and eating salad, I decided to sneak in to Bucky’s to try out one of the newest restaurants in town. While it was probably too early to give them the fairest of reviews, I was not impressed at all at their offerings and haven’t returned since. It was overpriced and so limited that I honestly have no desire to even give it another chance, especially after they attempted to astroturf on my site with several fake comments posted on my site to try and drum up a positive spin. A big no-no in my book.

11. Copper Bleu in Lakeville, MN.

While I didn’t eat at the Copper Bleu in 2007 (instead we were there way back in December of 2005 on their opening weekend), it was one of the biggest stories in the South Metro when it closed its doors. The debt incurred from the expensive (and ugly) structure was too much to overcome being based out of a Cub Foods parking lot deep in South Suburbia.

12. California Cafe at the Mall of America in Bloomington, MN.

On November 8th, 2007 Kim and I happened by what appeared to be a cute little restaurant in The Mall. With good experiences in the past at other Mall locations we figured it couldn’t be that bad. Unfortunately we were wrong and we are again on high alert when looking around the Mall of America for a place to eat.

13. Stephano’s in Burnsville, MN.

On December 1st, 2007 we joined up with Chris and Laura for what we expected to be an excellent dinner at Stephano’s in Burnsville, MN. Unfortunately what we experienced was nothing short of a pile of shit and by far one of the worst experiences in recent memory. The choice quote from my review was:

An absolute fucking disappointment and one that I will never repeat. Honestly, we’d probably be better off eating at Two Guys from Italy and any of you that read this site frequently know just how much it pains me to say that. Fuck, I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Regular contributer Tearitup, reading about our poor experience had to verify it for himself and also had a sub-par experience, especially for the prices they were charging. I am still, to this day, embarrassed for suggesting that people go there and I apologize to anyone that have been misled by my suggestion.

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We’re looking forward to another great year in 2008. If you have any suggestions for new (or old) restaurants for us to visit, please send them along.

Happy New Year everyone!