According to this Dakota County Criminal Complaint, a woman woke up to find a drunken fool muttering something about coming in through the garage while standing in her bedroom:
On April 4, 2010, officers with the Lakeville Police Department responded to a residence in the City of Lakeville, Dakota County, Minnesota on a report of a vehicle crashed into a garage. Upon arrival the officers observed a vehicle in the driveway, still running. The officer observed a damaged garage door and front end damage to the vehicle in the driveway. The registered owner of the vehicle is Bradley William Olson.
The victim reported that she woke up and found Olson standing over her bed saying her name. The victim stated that she asked Olson how he got into her house and he replied, “Through the garage door”. Olson does not have a key or access code to the victim’s garage. The victim then took Olson downstairs where he passed out on the floor. The victim stated that Olson was intoxicated. The victim then saw that Olson has crashed into her garage so she called the police.
Have you ever had a drunken park job? You know, the one where you wake up in the morning to your parents standing over your bed mumbling something incoherently about a car, on the lawn, running, and with the lights on?
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April 8th, 2010 at 11:00 am
No, but when I was in high school I remember often waking up, hung over, and slowly creeping up from my bed to look out the window to see if my car was out front and parked properly. It always was parked out front, just like usual. Man, teenagers are dumb (me).
April 8th, 2010 at 11:15 am
Bill, was this at your house? I’ve heard your garage is a popular target.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Mrs. Marcos, we must have had a similar high school experience. I always looked out to see how crooked my car was or if my purse dumped out next to it. I fondly remember hitting the car wash a few times before heading home to clean off somebodies puke along the outside of the car. At least they got their head out the window.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Mrs Robinson, your friends were more considerate…I lost count of how many times I had to figure out a way to get rid of someone else’s vomit from the back seat of my Volvo. Nasty.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:38 am
Mrs. M, you should have had the hired help do it for you.
April 8th, 2010 at 11:43 am
Ha, this was in 1988, the Volvo was a 1974, the thing was built like a tank. Lots of rust and body damage…but it was all mine for the low, low price of $600.00. The driver’s door had to be jimmied open using a hanger that was permanently attached to the door mechanism, we’re talking classy!
April 8th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
I didn’t really drink in high school; but my brother did. And had the accompanying problem with inanimate objects. I can’t tell you how many times he knocked the side mirrors off vehicles when pulling into the garage. He also hit poles more than once while attempting to park at the local Super America. Also, at White Castle (natch).
April 8th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
One of my high school friends was grounded for the summer after coming home drunk and pissing on his parents bed. That was while they were in it. I’m still not sure if he thought it was the bathroom or if he just thought it seemed like a good thing to do at the time. For some reason he didn’t want to talk about it later. :)
April 9th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Sorry, this is off topic but I feel called up (in light of John’s comment) to re-tell the fabulous story of my sister’s drunken summer camp adventure (hey, I bet there is a line of porno movies with that premise, but this is not one of THOSE stories).
So my sister was a pretty decent gymnast and attended many summer sessions of gymnastics camp, once she reached high school age she was asked to be a Counselor in Training (C.I.T.) at the camp. She and her dad had become pretty friendly with the owners of the camp over the years and they were happy to have her work at the camp. Because she had already been going to camp for many years she knew a lot of the counselors and it was easy transition from camper to C.I.T..
After hours sometimes the counselors and some of the C.I.T.s would head into town for some adventures a little more mature than smores and ghost stories. Because the counselors already knew my sister, she was included in the group that would head into town to drink at a local dive bar. After a few sessions of drinking cheap beer my sister was in the mood to try something a little stronger but didn’t know what to try (this alone is shocking considering the drunken Irish family we come from, but whatever). The bartender suggested a screwdriver and my sister agreed that would be a good place to start. Then the bartender asked what kind of vodka she wanted? My sister had no clue so the bartender lined up many little shot glasses to give her a “sample” of different vodkas to see which she would prefer (uh, she’s Irish and a teenager…the answer is “cheap). So, my sister commenced drinking these little shots and her next moment of clarity was waking up in her top bunk in the dorm room the next day (she never even made it to the actual screwdriver). She was definitely hung over but still in one piece so she thought the evening had been uneventful.
She emerged from her dorm and made her way through camp and noticed some glares from other counselors. Early in the day the camp owners summoned her to the main office and asked her if she had anything to say about her behavior the previous evening. My sister assumed she’d was in trouble for under aged drinking and had no clue anything else was wrong so she apologized and promised she wouldn’t leave camp again with the evening crew. It was around this time she noticed their expressions were a little more serious than if she had only been caught drinking and she finally got the nerve to ask if something else had happened? They verified she had no recollection of the evening’s events and proceded to tell her that after the other counselors had gotten her home and into her bunk she rolled out of the top bunk, wandered down the hall in search of the bathroom but instead walked into another C.I.T.’s room, and proceded to take a piss all over this other C.I.T.’s belongings as the horrified C.I.T. watched.
Way to make friends, sister, nicely done!
They removed her C.I.T. status and said she could either stay the rest of the session as a camper or go home. She was far too humiliated to be demoted to camper so she called her dad to pick her up from camp. Ironically, he didn’t give her a hard time about it, just teased her mercilessly for many years. I’m still teasing her about it, sorry, that is what older sisters do.
Now, I’m in the mood to watch the movie, Meatballs. LOVE that movie (the one starring Bill Murray, not the porno…you know there has to be one with the same name).
April 9th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
LOL, that is an awesome story. I’ve heard many stories about people pissing into the garbage in the kitchen thinking it’s a toilet but never on someone else’s belongings.