How many times has this happened to you? Someone you know, a friend, a family member, even a coworker, recommends a book that you just have to read. And you try to and you just can’t get through it. Not only that, you can’t figure out why this person, who seems to know you, would think this is something you would like. What to do? I’ve pretended, evaded and flat out lied when asked about the book in question. Not to say I haven’t really loved some of the books that have been suggested to me. A friend of mine turned me on to Lee Child’s stuff which I love and have recommended in turn.
Maybe the real question is why not just say that I didn’t like the book? Well for me there are many reasons. The main one being that I know how I feel when something I recommend falls flat. If asked I will name off what I’m reading or what I plan to read next. But as far as a straight up recommendation? I do it but with reservations. I become too personally invested in my family or friends enjoyment of the book. Did they like it? Do they think I’m an idiot for liking it? Maybe it’s one of the best books they ever read.
I really like it when people suggest books that I should read. I like getting recommendations. I just feel uncomfortable making them. I feel like I’m giving out an assignment. That the book just HAS to be read and there will be a test.
What was the last book you recommended? Did the person you encouraged to read the book enjoy it? Would they tell you if they didn’t? When was the last time someone suggested a book to you? Did you read it and enjoy it or muddle through because you thought you should?
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June 29th, 2010 at 8:55 am
I don’t get around to recommending many books. It’s not that I don’t read a lot, I usually do, it’s just that I never really believe that people are going to enjoy the eclectic mix that I do.
But, this type of worry happens to me with restaurant recommendations all the time. People are constantly asking me where they should go for dinner. I ask for more details and try to offer up a couple of different recommendations based on what I think they’d like, what the occasion is and what I may have most recently thoroughly enjoyed. I’m always waiting to hear back from them what they thought and sometimes I get the ultimate let down. It’s not only hurtful but embarrassing. So I completely understand where you’re coming from Tearitup. Ugh.
But to answer your questions about books:
The last book I recommended was Gang Leader for a Day and at least Sank seemed to like it but I have a feeling he wouldn’t have told me he didn’t like it–at least not until he had a few Scotches in him ;-)
I get books suggested to me all the time but with school (which I am taking a break from for the summer quarter woohoo!) I am just not getting around to them as fast as I like. One sticks out in my mind from about a year ago that was so absolutely miserable that while I made it through (I hate not finishing what I start) it reminded me never, ever, ever to accept recommendations from that person again heh.
June 29th, 2010 at 9:05 am
Funny Bill should mention the restaurants — that was my immediate thought. I very rarely read and when I do, it’s probably not something others would appreciate. Example: Right now, I’m 1/3 of the way through “Hunting Eichmann”, a story about the search for Adolf Eichmann after WWII. I don’t think it’ll get on the wife’s book club schedule.
But for restaurants, I get really disappointed when one of my recommendations turns out to be a dud. It’s like shopping for just the right birthday present and having the person not like it. I try and make sure to give people an accurate portrayal beforehand. Thankfully the negatives happen about 1/10th of the time.
June 29th, 2010 at 9:07 am
p.s. — by the way, I just downloaded the new Kindle app for my Android phone (it’s also available for iPhones). Now I can rarely read “real” books AND rarely read books on my phone.
But I thought I would mention the app is now available for Android phones in case anyone missed the memo.
June 29th, 2010 at 9:54 am
A seatmate on a plane recommended “Eat, Pray, Love” to me, in such a way that it seemed that the book had changed her life.
I later bought it and thought that it was the most ridiculous bit of tripe I have ever read, and I read A LOT.
I too recommend books cautiously, and I try not to be too enthusiastic, because it tends to set that person’s expectations too high. I’d rather they judge it themselves.
June 29th, 2010 at 10:12 am
I guess the same can be said for any recommendations that we make. Whether it’s for a book, a restaurant or a movie. I hate for someone to end up feeling like I wasted their money or worse yet their time. That said, I did just recommend a book to my SIL. I think I know what kind of books she enjoys and author’s that she likes so I felt pretty safe in making this recommendation. But you just never know.
Then there’s the disappointment in finding out that someone ended up not liking something you really enjoy. To each their own. But for me, I say keep the recommendations coming, especially for restaurants. I may not always find everything to my taste but you never know when you’ll discover a new favorite thing.
June 29th, 2010 at 10:16 am
I rarely get books rec’d to me, but having worked in a bookstore for 5 years, I was recommending books all the time. The last book I can remember being rec’d to me was “The DaVinci Code” and I couldn’t get past page 30. I have picky taste in books, because I do so much intellectual reading for my work and continuing education credits, when i sit down to read, I generally want something fluffy and escapist.
June 29th, 2010 at 10:33 am
Confession time:
Does anyone else have friends, family, coworkers, online acquaintances, etc. that, when they give a recommendation, you absolutely run the OPPOSITE direction from whatever it is they are recommending???
When I hear a movie critic, I pretty much automatically take the opposite of their opinion by default. But there are some people in my life that, when they hate something, it’s going to be my favorite, and vice versa.
And I know I’m “that guy” to some people.
June 29th, 2010 at 11:11 am
Perfect timing in this post as over the weekend I found myself raving about the Twilight series. I found myself saying, “You MUST read it!” While the other party protested, “…but I don’t like vampires!”
Don’t judge me.
June 29th, 2010 at 11:36 am
As a kid, I read a LOT. Now, I still read a lot, just not books. I’m reading one right now and while the content is good, I find that after 30 pages in, I quit enjoying it. Maybe a novel would keep me more entertained. I guess my short attention span tends to favor Twitter, blogs, etc. over books. And unless I’m reading on the bus, I don’t have huge blocks of time to devote to books.
And yes, MSPD, I run very far from certain people’s recommendations. What’s worse is when those people give you a book for Christmas like you’re supposed to read it and love it too. Ugh…
June 29th, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Crystal, we could have a whole thread on the Twilight series. My wife is a huge fan. For the record, I enjoy vampire books, and often read sci fi/fantasy books. She detests them.
She LOVES the Twilight series. If I had said, hey I have this book for you about some two hundred year old vampire hitting on a high school girl and then the vampires and werewolves have a big war…………well, she would have made fun of my taste in books without mercy.
I read the first Twilight book, and have to say, I just dont get it. Creepy in a pedophile sort of way imo.
June 29th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Twilight? I think I just threw up in my mouth.
June 29th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
I have been a bookworm for my entire life, but I don’t finish a book if it doesn’t hook me shortly after I start it (ten pages in, say). This has happened less than five or six times over my entire life.
I’m a reading adult. I know what I like (mostly non-fiction), and I don’t mess around. That said, I can’t remember the last time I read a book because someone recommended it, or because it was on a best-seller list. The hold lines at the library are much too long, and there are so many older books I’d rather read, anyhow. At the moment, I’m reading two local history books, and both were published before 1996.
June 29th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I recently recommended Lee Child’s The Killing Floor to my 22 year old son. I have started working my way through audible book versions of Lee Child’s novels and my son happened to hear a couple chapters while I was outside working on my car. This was Tripwire, so I recommended he start with the Killing Floor.
Most of the more recent books I read at least one of my boys tend to enjoy. I have a number of books I received when being a lazy member of the SciFi book club, thus I amassed 5 years of one or two books per month. All selected by the editors of the club. Of the 60 or so books I amassed, only 1 was I never able to actually finish it. Many of them I’ve read twice. None of them have interested my children in the least. Though the oldest did make his way through my Stephen King books. He got interested in them when the Green Mile series of short books were coming out.
I don’t know if I would read anything my Wife would recommend. Though I think she would never recommend a book to me. She gets cast off books from her Mother and they almost always are Romance Novels. My Grandparents have been reading up on history the past 10 years or more. Retired, they spend time getting books at the local South Dakota small town library. Mostly focused on the beginning of our nation, civil war, WW1, and generally stories about lives lived and lost during the early years of our country.
June 29th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Chad (& Joey) – When my book club suggested reading a book about vampires, I was like “no way”. Next thing I knew, I had read all four books (plus the one from Edward’s perspective online) and I was all for reading a zombie book next. And yes, I AM going to the movie, but more for the social aspect than the movie.
Speaking of, I think the social aspect comes into play for books too. While some I just can’t get into (Kushiel’s Dart for example), others (like Eat, Pray, Love), take on a new life when discussed in a group setting. Some parts that I glazed over may have been extremely exciting to a friend who helps me see it in a new light.
June 30th, 2010 at 7:26 am
I agree with you Crystal. There is a social aspect to books as with most things in the popular culture. Some of the more lively online discussion groups I’ve taken part in started because someone wanted to discuss a book. Although I’ve never belonged to a structured book club, I’ve often found that my friends and I are reading the same books at the same time. And as was pointed out, their take on a book can be completely different than mine. Sometimes to the point of “did we read the same book”?
I definitely know people who when they give me a recommendation I assume the opposite to be true for me. I know they mean well but could not be further off the mark. I hate to think it but I’m pretty sure I’ve been that person for someone myself.
June 30th, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Recommending ZEITOUN by Dave Eggers, a true-life account of a good samaritan’s bad experience in Katrina-ravaged New Orleans.
Bill, have you started watching The Wire yet? Please post your opinions when you do.
July 1st, 2010 at 9:41 am
I am always reading. real books with paper pages, tangibility remains good for this old Luddite.
I am not usually a fan of what is popular (like another poster, I only got 20 pages into the latest Dan Brown novel and had to give it away, feh) but i am enjoying the first Stieg Larson “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”, i think it is a good summer read.
I read mostly nonfiction or historical fiction or mystery/espionage/detective fiction.
The nonfiction book most recommended to me this summer is “Hellhound on His Trail” by James B Stewart , which is a nonfiction detailing of James Earl Ray in his buildup to killling ML King and the hunt for him afterward.
July 6th, 2010 at 8:56 am
I was reading a post on Sank’s blog today and came across a recommendation for Darwin’s Radio by Greg Bear. It has an intriguing premise and one I found interesting. I’m adding it to my ever growing reading list. BTW, is this part of a series? Have you read anything else by this author? Thanks Sank.
August 4th, 2010 at 10:56 am
Lee Child has a new Jack Reacher novel coming out in October, Worth Dying For. I have it on pre-order for my Kindle.
August 5th, 2010 at 11:31 am
looks like a follow up to 61 hours. which i’m waiting for from the library.
bb
August 6th, 2010 at 9:20 am
well, after 2 1/2 months on the waiting list, miz friendly computer called me and 61 hours is mine for two weeks:)
bb
August 6th, 2010 at 10:02 am
Enjoy! I’m sure you’ll rip right through it. Please post what yout think of it once you’re done.
August 6th, 2010 at 10:29 am
I never thought I would say this about any author I enjoy reading, but Mr Child needs to slow down. I dont think 61 Hours is even in paperback yet.
I will have to check this weekend I guess.