According to this Dakota County Criminal Complaint, a stepfather with a history of domestic violence and assaults on other people, was arrested for felony domestic abuse after he got into an argument with his stepdaughter while her mother slept through the incident.
From the complaint:
S.M.F. stated that Defendant approached her telling her that he was going to “beat her ass.” She said Defendant put his finger on her eyelid and pushed it into her eye. Officers observed that S.M.F.’s left eye appeared watery and there was a tear running down the left side of her face only. S.M.F. stated that Defendant then smacked her with an open fist on the right side of her face.
S.M.F.’s mother, L.A.F., was also interviewed and said she was asleep and didn’t see anything. She called police the following evening and stated that her daughter was mentally ill and exaggerates. She told officers that she had observed Defendant poking S.M.F.’s forehead multiple times as he lectured her during the previous evening’s incident.
The most disappointing thing here is that the mother claims she slept throughout the incident and then later covered for her piece of garbage husband who has two prior convictions (one for assault and the other for domestic abuse). However, one may wonder whether the two specific pieces of evidence against him, if viewed without knowledge of his two prior convictions, should really be considered domestic abuse.
While I don’t want to lessen the charges against this guy due to his rap sheet, as a father I want to understand the line which is ever-shrinking between right and wrong when dealing with children. Let’s say that if he was indeed “poking her forehead” during a lecture and she moved because of annoyance or another reason as children often do when they don’t like to be lectured, it may have poked her in the eye a bit and caused it to water. And, seriously, an “open fist”? As if he would take the time to curl only the top part of his fingers at the second knuckle to create the “open fist”. Either it was a slap (most likely) or it was a closed fist.
What do you think about this one? Do you believe the defendant actually used an “open fist” or did he simply slap his stepdaughter and the cops want to make it sound as bad as possible? What do you think about the mother covering for the husband with two related priors and calling her daughter mentally ill instead of either staying out of it completely or taking her child’s side? Whatever you have to say go ahead and comment on as I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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July 11th, 2012 at 8:18 am
I wonder if the mom is taking his side because she is afraid of what he will do to her. I hope and pray that both the step daughter and mom get some help and find a way to get away from this loser.
July 11th, 2012 at 8:50 am
We weren’t there. All we can rely upon is he said, she said. We don’t know these people, and we don’t know anything other than what the police report says, and has been pointed out, it may have been embellished in an inflamitory manner. An open fist, as Bill pointed out, would be a slap. But hey! Use of the word fist sounds more dire than “slap” There was no mention of bruising or redness as a result of the slap, yet the officer was there soon enough after the incident to notice the tearing of the eye from the poke. Can someone sleep through a loud arguement? Yes, I know for a fact they can. However, to call the next day and indicate she did, in fact, see the incident means she was either lieing at the time of the first interview, or lieing when she called the police. In any event, let the jury figure it out.
July 11th, 2012 at 9:04 am
This is normal abused woman behavior and happens all the time. She may be afraid she will be hurt. She may be afraid he will leave. She may be afraid he will go to jail. He is in control of the household and she will do whatever it is she thinks he wants her to do. Blaming isn’t the answer. She will either come around, eventually, or someone will be murdered. All we can hope for is that she comes around and gets the support she needs not to go back and that the authorities can keep any kids involved safe.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:24 pm
I think in a case like this the police may have used certain wording to try to get the point across, or to convey the gut feeling they had from being at the site and involved in the situation.
I dont think there is much need for a parent to be poking a child in the forhead or face in any situation. I certainly get frustrated with my child, but slapping him or poking him in the face/head/etc is just no something I think would be a reasonable response or would provide any sort of positive lesson.
As noted above, it seems that the daughter is being abused, and likely the mother as well. I hope they get the help they need, and that some attorney does not spin this in a way to make the guy look like the victim of the police.