Update (10/20/2008): I have been contacted by one of the Minnesota RollerGirls and have been informed that this issue will be properly addressed. Thanks guys, you rock!

Last night Kim and I went to the first Minnesota RollerGirls bout of the 2008-2009 season held at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium in St Paul. We have been looking forward to this for at least several weeks since our second year of season tickets arrived in the mail. Last year I raised the question, why should I renew my RollerGirls season tickets. Thankfully the girls themselves answered many of those and we were happy to renew this year. Unfortunately one of those issues was not answered, probably because it’s handled by security staff, and it’s the only problem I had at the Minnesota RollerGirls bout tonight.

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First I’ll start with a recap and some videos of the bout (taken with my iPhone via Qik). The Minnesota RollerGirls All-Star team went up against the Northwest Arkansas RollerGirls (NWA) and stomped the living shit out of them. As with many of the out-of-state teams the MNRG face, the NWA just weren’t much competition. In fact, the bout was pretty boring in the first half but the second half showed a lot of physical confrontation, excellent skating, and individual performances from both teams that were excellent. Minnesota has worked on all aspects of their game and it was obvious that they weren’t about to let NW Arkansas score much. Even with many less points scored by MN in the second half, we ended up winning heartily.

The other set of bouts were all Minnesota vs Minnesota but the theme was “Zombies” vs “Pirates” with many of the girls dressed up like either. The Zombies ended up winning in the end with the bout remaining very close even up until the last jam. Some great skating and sportsmanship was seen here and I’m excited for the rest of the season.

Unfortunately, as I said above, there was one outstanding issue from my post last year about renewing my season tickets that wasn’t yet addressed and that has to do with line jumping. Last year the Minnesota RollerGirls started passing out limited edition t-shirts to the first 200 people that came through the door and this spawned a great desire to be the first through the door by many. While we used to arrive about an hour early and have no problems getting near the front, now it requires that you are there 1.5 to 2 hours in advance to be near to the front of the line. As evidenced by yesterday, some people believe that they have a right to break the rules of common decency and that they can do whatever the fuck they please, mostly because they are rude jerks. Well, as I said to those individuals last night, it won’t go unnoticed with me there.

Kim and I arrived at ~4:30 PM last night and were treated with positions #5 and #6. We both leaned up against the wall, put on music and chilled out while we watched as Roy Wilkins security staff setup line barriers around the other people near us. One would assume that this barrier is meant to direct the line in a certain shape and clue you into the fact that, well, there is a line and the basic tenets that queuing up brings along with it. Well, for four people that were in front of us (later three), courteous behavior isn’t required because they believe that they are fucking special and most likely because no one else has ever had the balls to do anything other than mutter under their breath in typical Minnesota Nice fashion.

So, it’s about 4:50 now and a woman and a guy arrive and slide under the barrier. I don’t pay much attention figuring that they have a spot deeper in the line and they are just coming to chat with the two people at the front. It’s cool, Kevin and I usually say hi to each other in line when we are apart and it’s temporary. While we both usually do it from outside of the barriers, I didn’t think much of this until a third person decided that the barrier didn’t apply to him and wasn’t really necessary and not only came through it but disconnected the ribbon and didn’t bother to replace it after he sat in on the Minnesota RollerGirl line jumper powwow.

Now I got a little annoyed and made my displeasure known to the rude assholes now numbering six that moved Kim and I back to spots #9 and #10 in line and everyone else behind us four more spots down as well. I was at first ignored by the four line jumping morons and the two enablers at the front of the line but I kept at it until they just stared at me in their best Minnesota Nice, “we’re not going to respond to you,” faces. With me still hammering away at them in my loud and obnoxious tone they apparently felt that they had to do something to save face. Unfortunately what came out of their mouths only showed how pathetic they are and how they seriously felt entitled to line jumping and screwing those behind them out of their hard earned spots.

The most obnoxious line jumper in this group is none other than the mother of Minnesota RollerGirl Scarmen Hellectra. When I suggested that she apologize to every single person behind her that she decided weren’t as important as she was, she said, “I will,” but never did. Then she went on with lame excuses why she was permitted to do what she was doing — always ignoring general rules of society and the basic rules of queues:

1. She’s been coming for four years and they always sit together at the front of the line.

My response? I’m a season ticket holder and have been coming for 2.5 years. Am I less important than you because I have been coming for 1.5 years less? In 1.5 years I should be able to announce that I am ruler of the Minnesota RollerGirls queue and I should be able to allow anyone and everyone who I wish to join me in my pocket in line a spot just because? No, I don’t think so.

2. They allow line jumping.

I’m not sure who “they” are but I’m pretty positive just because the two security staff members that are busy chit-chatting next to each other aren’t telling you to stop it while dragging you kicking and screaming out of the venue does not mean it’s “allowed”. In fact, I should do a poll of #197, #198, #199, and #200 in line and ask them what they think of your line jumping that just shoved them out of possible t-shirt contention. I’m sure they’d love to hear your excuses.

3. “I’m the parent of a Minnesota RollerGirl!”

Oh well now, fuck me, I am so very sorry. I should bend over backwards, kiss my own ass, and wash your feet for that huh? I should bow before your greatness and permit you to walk all over me and the rest of people in line that you violated because your daughter rolls. Fuck, how stupid of me. Please let me apologize again, right now, for ever questioning your importance and greatness.

Listen, you aren’t special just because your daughter is a RollerGirl. I’m thrilled that your daughter sacrifices herself for our entertainment but that sacrifice doesn’t filter on down to you. In fact, I’m sure if your daughter knew that you were using her as one of the three lame reasons why you were “permitted” to be a line jumping jerk, she’d be pretty fucking embarrassed.

Listen people… Line jumping isn’t only rude, obnoxious and self-serving, it’s also the wrong thing to do. How dare you feel that you are more important than someone else who spent the time to get there earlier than you did and then put on your holier than thou facade when they tell you that what you did was wrong. Next time, beat me there fair and square and sit your dead, dying, ass in your spot for the entire duration just like every other decent person in line who didn’t decide that line jumping was in their realm.

I would like to note that there was one individual of the group of four that not only apologized to me for “upsetting” me, but he also took another one of the group with him to another point later in line. I don’t know his name but I do want to thank him for standing up to the Group Think mentality that continued to prevail even as more people (I assume the father of Scarmen Hellectra) jumped the line and then went back to try and persuade this gentleman to come back to the front of the line with the rest of those that weren’t following the rules of common courtesy. It is important to note that the other guy that this fine citizen took with him took the time to note that he was NOT going to apologize because he really thought that line jumping in front of those that were there 1 hour longer was completely acceptable.

While I don’t expect these assholes to learn a lesson, I really do hope that they at least think twice the next time they sit their asses down in line ahead of everyone else — maybe they will have a voice in the back of their heads say, “rude.” Maybe they’ll ignore it, like they did this time and apparently every other time for the last four years, but I hope that they at least think that their actions may be inappropriate.

Look forward to the next bout when I will take live video of any encounter I have with line jumpers. “Say hi to the Internet, they’re watching as you act like an inconsiderate, line jumping, dick.” That should really get their cookies cranked…

Are you a rude line jumping asshole? Perhaps you hate the jerks as much as I do and want to voice your opinion. Perhaps you’re just on the outside looking in and have something to say about it. If so, comment on!