Last week’s poll asked what delivery service you use most frequently. While I hate UPS, I really had USPS more due to the amount of time it takes to get to see someone (which seems to be always required in my experience). It was surprising to me to see that those who don’t use a combination that they use USPS instead. Crazy!
This week’s poll comes from a Facebook post The Wife saw on Facebook yesterday. It was not only sweet but also something I want to do more often than I do:
- A mother was at the mall with her two boys waiting for her coffee at Caribou. As they were waiting the boys were intently watching the workers at Godiva across the way make chocolate covered strawberries. An “older man” noticed them watching and came up and asked if they would like one (as long as mom says it’s ok). The mother said she was “flabbergasted” and provided her blessing. The man proceeded to take the boys across to the Godiva store and let them pick out whatever they wanted. $16 later they had a jumbo chocolate covered strawberry and a chocolate covered strawberry and banana stick! Both of the boys thanked the man repeatedly on their own which made their mother very proud.
Such a wonderful story; it made me think of the few times I’ve had this happen to me and, conversely, how often I’ve done it for others:
- 1. Back in 2005, sui generis and I received a middle-of-the-night ride back to 28th Ave LRT station in Bloomington from two strangers after a concert let out after the last train left the station for the night.
2. When The Koala was in the NICU we got coffee, a Caribou gift card, and breakfast from “Ryan M” whom we had never met.
3. Several years ago I came across a man who had run out of gas. He offered me $20 to go get him some but I refused his money and got it myself. The gas station made me buy a gas can and then fill it up. I did so and brought it back to him again refusing his money. It is the first time I remember having the opportunity to do something like that and I was glad to do it.
4. This year at the holidays I again heard of “Layaway Angels” paying for other people’s gifts on layaway anonymously. The store representatives interviewed for the story said those gifts would never have been paid for in their entirety if it hadn’t been for those strangers. It was then I decided I wanted to put forth a good amount of money during the 2013 holiday season to help those who cannot buy presents for their families.
While I’m sure there are countless other examples, these are those that I remember. What experiences, on either side of the fence, have you had? Is this something you do regularly? What was the most moving example you remember and why? Is this something you go out of your way to do? Whatever you have to say go ahead and vote on the sidebar and then comment on below. After you do both of those things feel free to check out our expired polls in the archive or read through the previous posts about polls here.
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January 13th, 2013 at 8:21 am
Occasionally I will randomly pay for the car behind me in the drive through.
New Year’s Day I went to see Les Miserables with my mom and cousin. As I was putting butter on my mom’s popcorn, two kids behind me in line for popcorn were approached by the snack bar cashier who informed them their credit card had been denied for insufficient funds. It was pretty clear these two kids were on their own, having been given mom’s card for some snacks. They looked at each other like “what?” while the unhelpful cashier just kept repeating “insufficient funds” over and over to them. (they were about 9 and 10, maybe?) I handed the cashier my card and went into my movie.
After the movie as my mom and I were getting stuff out of my car for her, a minivan pulled up and the children’s mother jumped out, thanked me, and forced about 10 bucks into my hand. She said she knew it wasn’t enough, but it was all the cash she had.
I didn’t do it expecting to get paid back, I grew up pretty poor, and felt bad for the kids. But it was nice to be thanked, and to know that those kids didn’t take it for granted.
January 13th, 2013 at 8:44 am
Last night my husband and I bought a TV at Sams Club. At the exit, there were a couple of people waiting to have their receipts checked and they commented that they sure hoped it would fit in our vehicle while chuckling and shaking their heads. After my husband pulled up, my daughter and I pushed the cart outside. At the curb, a man was waiting. He told me that he had seen us inside and wanted to help. He proceeded to assist my husband load the TV into the car and walked away as soon as it was secure.
I know it was a minor thing, but just the fact that a random stranger wanted to help was uplifting. And it set the tone for the fun part of having to set the thing up at home!
Thanks to people who do random acts of kindness!
January 13th, 2013 at 8:54 am
I have been helped, and help others whenever presented the opportunity to do so. I think those opportunities happen for a reason.
I have also had situations where I have literally begged for help, and been told to pound sand by people who should have cared. When my husband was injured (he was a cop) people from all over the country called to offer help, but his coworkers told them Dan was fine and to stop calling. I begged them to tell us who was calling, so we could call them back, and was told no, that it would be a waste of personnel resources to take any messages.
January 13th, 2013 at 9:12 am
Anne Curry is promoting people to do 26 acts of kindness in honor of the school shooting victims. People are tweeting their acts. I just try to be aware of people struggles around me and help when I can. There are people in this world with a kindness gene and far too many without.
January 13th, 2013 at 9:42 am
Some of those things sound pretty good. One sticks out as odd though.
That “Ryan M” person sounds like a creeper. I think that “gift” was just the beginning of his diabolical plot to steal your baby.
January 13th, 2013 at 10:30 am
I had the person in front of me pay for my meal at the drive through at Wendys in Savage a couple years ago. It was a huge order too, for my family at home, lots of sandwiches, fries, and a couple salads and some drinks. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before and it felt a little weird and I watched in my rearview mirror to see if they were following me home. Sad that I would think that I guess.
I try to help out when I can like if someone needs a little more money when I’m in line behind him or her. I try to drive as if other people are my friends rather than competitors in some road race. I buy something extra every week for the food shelf. As I’ve gotten older I notice people are more polite to me and sometimes help me out even when I don’t need it. : )
January 13th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
One time coming out of Savoy pizza on 7th St in St. Paul, a decent looking middle aged guy in the parking lot asked for a few bucks to buy gas. He said he had to use his kid’s car for some reason and found out it was just about running on fumes on the way home. Being a little suspicious, I instead offered to buy him some gas. He had enough fuel to get to the Holiday station across the street, so we drove over there and I pumped $5 in his car. He asked for my address and offered to send me a check, which I refused.
The sad thing about this is that I was always suspicious of his motives. Was he really out of gas? Was he somehow trying to get my address for some other reason? When I think back about this, I don’t believe he was up to anything. But at the time, I just couldn’t process the situation fast enough to not be suspicious. Too bad our society has to be like that.
January 13th, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Mole, in that neighborhood (which I live in, I’m two blocks from Savoy) there are many, many scams just like that. But if it really would have been a scam, they wouldn’t have let you pump gas for him, so it sounds like you found someone in need. Tough neighborhood for someone to be in need in, since those of us living here would have just said, “yeah, right” and kept moving.
I don’t do enough of the random acts of kindness stuff. Maybe I’m just way too cynical after my years in social services? I give money to non-profits and let them figure out the most deserving. But that money is provided in a layer of bureaucracy and the individual charities calculation of who is “most deserving.” Not given with kindness.
January 13th, 2013 at 8:16 pm
I don’t really give much of a shit whether or not someone who appears to be in need might be scamming me. I’m not beset enough by people requesting my help that it threatens me nor poor enough that I have to make a choice between my own mouth and theirs, so the possibility, or even likelihood, that a few dollars here or there probably went to someone who was lying doesn’t worry me a bit.
I’ve been helped enough that it would take a page to list them all. Rides, assistance, kind words, stepping in, the random stranger paying for meals, a kindness to my child, etc.
A moment I knew without a doubt I had made the right decision about marrying my husband was when he called me from Bangledesh to ask me how I would feel if he used the money he’d intended to use to buy me an engagement ring in Thailand to buy something for the young guide with whom he’d bonded. This man had been saving, tediously and with great effort, for years to buy a rickshaw, so he could work even harder but in exchange make a little more money for his family. That was worth way more to me than any engagement ring. And if my husband was being scammed? I doubt it, but even so…I just don’t care.
Funny, given the mention of USPS in the initial post, that the most recent minor exchange that comes to mind happened at the post office, when I offered a ride home to a gentleman who was otherwise going to have to walk home about 10 blocks carrying two big bags. We had a great chat; he felt good, I felt good. It’s a cliche, but true, that those moments of extending a hand do as much for me as they might for the other person. And since my hand is already pretty damned blessed and I’m in no immediate danger of going hungry or running out of good will, it’s easy. I might feel differently if it were hard.
January 13th, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Dang it lefty, you figured me out! Lol.
January 13th, 2013 at 8:48 pm
My husband befriended an old Asian gentleman several years ago. This man used to walk around Burnsville dressed formally head-to-toe in a suit, overcoat, and hat, even in hot summer weather. Sometimes he became tired or ill, and sometimes my husband happened along and would drive him home.
Hubby at some point gave the gentleman a card with his name and home phone number on it for emergencies.
Fast forward; hubby was out of town and son and I were at home when the phone rang. It was the manager of a grocery store, who said that our phone number had been given to her by a gentleman who seemed to need help.
We knew who it was. So we got into the car and drove to the grocery store to help the man – he spoke little English, which I don’t believe I’ve mentioned yet.
We put him into our car and took him home. He insisted we come in and proceeded to show/tell us in broken English about his past. There was a map on the wall of his home, and he managed to tell us that he had been the mayor of Hue, Vietnam, before the war, and had barely escaped.
That family no longer lives in that house and we never heard from him again. He was very old at the time, but we admired his dignity and his pluck.
We are very lucky.
January 13th, 2013 at 9:46 pm
I try to help out where I can. One kindness I will always remember was a guy who stopped in winter to change a flat tire my Mom had. I remember it was very cold and my sisters were very young so it had to be around 1974. Today we befriended visitors to our church. As we walked in we noted they had North Dakota plates and struck up a conversation. The older couple wound up sitting by us. It felt nice.
January 14th, 2013 at 9:54 am
Constance, that’s great that you aren’t getting pleas for help regularly, but I am. Like daily. And sometimes for outrageous amounts (I only need $25 dollars….) But what scammers are looking for is people like you who aren’t hit daily with their made up scams. That’s how they survive.
There are people in South Minneapolis who go door to door with the stories of how they need money, usually something about getting a car that was towed. I call the police on them, but I see people give them money. What they are doing is illegal and they make a lot of money doing it.
When I worked at Hennepin County, when times were better, I knew people who made $400 a WEEK panhandling. $1600 a month tax free.
January 14th, 2013 at 10:10 am
Don’t most of those guys that stand at stoplights with signs mostly live in the suburbs?
I saw a local news spot about that a few years ago. They followed the guy from his “station” on the corner. He hopped on his bike, drove it to his late model car, threw it in the back and drove home to his middle class home he shared with his family.
Not a bad gig…
January 14th, 2013 at 11:01 am
lefty, not all of them, but a lot of them. Some really are poor and live in the city, generally with chemical dependency or mental illness, but it is impossible to tell the difference unless they are fall down drunk.
January 14th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
This is a big problem with charitable giving of any sort, whether it be a panhandler or a giant fund. We often have the talk at home regarding how much of donated money for any “cause” actually helps individuals. Does the giant, much publicized cancer fund actually trickle down to saving lives, much less in any impressive proportion to the wads of money that they take in? How do we ever know that our donated money actually does good?
January 14th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Exactly Sandy,
I think the Komen breast cancer charity is one of the biggest scams in America right now. The last thing they need is to actually find a cure for breast cancer, because a bunch of people would lose their jobs.
January 14th, 2013 at 3:26 pm
I’ve bought many many fast food lunches over the years for people who have asked me for money for something to eat. Homless guy “Steve” here on Nicollet I’ve seen him down here for years and years. I give my starbucks cards when they’re down to 3-4 dollars. Have him a pack of winstons once too. What the hell, makes him happy.
Had a simular deal in Oklahoma. Guy hit me up for gas money outside 7-11. Said he was a youth baskettball coach and was almost out of gas. Wanted $5.00 to get to the hotel where his team was staying. I needed gas too followed him to the gas station filled both cars. He wanted my address to mail a check, I said no.. do this for someone else one day.
Reverse good deed- I backed into a truck in Florida a few summers ago, smashed the tail light on a new truck. There was no one around, would have been very easy to drive away. I left my phone number on the windshield a note about his tail light. He called later in teh day… We connected. when he got back to Kansas where he was from he offered a few options.. I picke don and paypalled him the money. He was very appreciative.
January 14th, 2013 at 4:11 pm
lefty, you are more brave than I am. I didn’t want to name that one initially because of the flak that will surely rain down. But I get queasy when I see good people jumping through hoops to earn money for the Komen folks.
January 14th, 2013 at 4:29 pm
Sandy,
Not sure what kind of flak you are worried I am going to get. When an organization dedicated to “cancer research” needs $41,000,000 out of the $365,000,000 it raises in a year to support its administration/payroll (2010 numbers), you kind of need to wonder if it is actually a charity at all. The CEO makes over $500,000 per year herself.
Come and get me Komen supporters. Start by defending my facts above.
There are a shit ton of places people should put their money better than that marketing company. (I do admit they are really good at marketing)
lefty
January 14th, 2013 at 4:30 pm
I always leave my extra pennies in the little “take a penny, leave a penny” cup at the gas station. Does that count for anything?
January 14th, 2013 at 7:49 pm
lefty, well put.
January 15th, 2013 at 8:17 am
In Portland there’s always someone, homeless or just pretending, asking for a handout. After a while it’s easy to ignore. With that said I have done and have been the recipient of random acts of kindness.
Two similar ones, from when I lived in Eagan came to mind as I was reading another comment. One day it was pouring cats and dogs and there was a woman walking in the direction of Cub Foods. I believe her umbrella had been brutalized by the wind so I pulled over and gave her a ride. It was only about six blocks but helped her from getting completely soaked.
Another day I had just gotten gas on Nicols Rd and watched as a guy – mid-30′s probably – ran trying to catch a bus heading north on Nichols, probably heading into Mpls. I had the time so I drove over and offered to take him to another stop, essentially to catch up with that bus. He chided me saying that a girl should be careful about picking up strange men. He’s right but at the same time I felt like it was the right thing.
January 15th, 2013 at 11:06 am
Lefty – well of course. How else would they pay for those ads on tv that they start running on January 1 and play over and over and over and over and over and over – at last on KSTP.
If I see that one “The experience….blah, blah, blah…” with the peppy music one more time, I’m going to gouge out my eardrums. And they’re going to be aired until June. Joy.
January 16th, 2013 at 11:50 am
Kassie, you must live by me.
When i worked at Hennepin County in welfare, our building was right off the downtown exit to 11th street off of 35W. The guys on that corner had a schedule. We knew them all, and they sometimes came and ate lunch with us when we ate outside in warmer weather.
January 16th, 2013 at 11:57 am
Like I said Kassie, I don’t get waylaid by so many requests that it bothers me. Having extensive experience of panhandlers in San Francisco, I can see how a different environment on a regular basis could make me much more irritable. And selective. Which is kind of the bottom line, isn’t it. As long as someone isn’t being aggressive, it’s easy to just say no if I don’t feel like participating in that particular libertarian system of redistribution or, viewed another way, helping drive the economy by keeping $$ in circulation.
I’m being flippant, but I’m a little bemused by how unsettled people are over this sort of thing. If begging becomes such a lucrative and thriving niche market that we suddenly have hordes of people doing the same, yeah, then it’s a problem. Are we there? Heading there? Do I care that some shady individuals are making scratch by telling stories to other people? Not really. Not unless they’re targeting the vulnerable. After all, I’ve worked with marketing departments…
Sometime it’s obvious to me that a story is complete BS. And some of those times it’s such entertaining BS that I don’t feel much differently about forking over a buck for that particular moment of entertainment than I do about forking over $50 for a seat at the theater. Which is sort of how I view all this: theater.
January 16th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
Kris, I’ve done the bus chasing thing too. Noticed a woman with a young child by the hand in downtown MPLS desperately running just as the bus pulled away, so pulled up, told her to jump in (she hesitated, as she should have, but I think the sight of this middle-aged dumpy woman with my own kid in the back seat made her feel safe), and we were off and chasing. Took two more stops and a lot of laughing before I managed to get in front of the darn thing. I felt like the Boadicea of metro transit.
January 20th, 2013 at 7:02 am
[...] week’s poll asked about your experiences with giving or receiving good deeds. While there probably have been any number of good deeds I missed over the years on both sides of [...]
January 23rd, 2013 at 3:48 pm
I once was locked out of my house with a dead cell phone and nowhere to go when a couple I didn’t know walked by and offered to let me make some calls to figure something out. When that didn’t work they let me stay at their place. I’m not sure I’d ever trust a complete stranger in my own living room. After that I’d at least give it a second thought.