Last week’s Mayo or Miracle Whip poll was helped by a large number of voters who came in from Sunday’s article in the Pioneer Press but a large majority of people agreed with me that mayo rules and The Whip drools. I was actually impressed with the number of people who went with Miracle Whip as I was honestly thinking there would only be one or two. You have proved me wrong :) But as promised, I am back at it with another holiday themed poll about the whole Santa thing…
Growing up Santa was a big part of my Christmas experience. In fact, when I was four or five I was sleepwalking and saw Santa throwing presents under the tree. I reached out to shake his hand and heard something behind me. I turned to find my family behind me and when I turned back to Santa I saw that I was shaking the leaf of a large rubber tree plant we had in our home near the tree. This particular moment was one of my mother’s favorites and while we were discussing it the other day she said that it still brings a tear of joy to her eye nearly 25 years later.
Well a couple weeks ago I saw this post in Google Reader and clicked on through to read this blog post from the son of John Piper a local pastor of a multi-campus mega church here in the MSP metro. While growing up and even until I met Kim I didn’t realize that there were families that chose not to teach their children about Santa for one reason or another. I was actually shocked and dismayed when I learned that Kim didn’t have the same Christmas experience as I did growing up.
I talked to several other people about this topic, all of which are far more religious than I am. One said that he follows the example mentioned by Mr. Piper in the blog linked above, another said that he believes in enjoying the magic experienced when his child gets wide-eyed over the idea of Santa coming on Christmas morning, and yet another said that he was upset when his daughter just announced to him that Santa doesn’t exist and then proceeded to try and coerce money out of him for her lost tooth even though she knew that the tooth fairy didn’t exist either.
Christmas was far more special for me when I believed in Santa and something was definitely lost after I stopped “believing”. Many people have mentioned that they forever resented their parents for lying to them and that led to their questioning of everything thereafter.
So, my question for you is how do you choose to proceed with your teachings to your children on Santa? I’m going to give the options “Legend”, “Real”, and “N/A” which you can fill at your discretion. If you have any Santa stories (happy, sad, or that you now hate your parents for the lies they perpetrated for their own enjoyment) bring it on as this is a question I *really* want some discussion about. This is an important topic to me and one that I need to think about from many different angles. So please comment on, I want to know what you have to say.
Santa Legend or "Real"
- Real (64.0%, 27 Votes)
- Legend (31.0%, 13 Votes)
- N/A (5.0%, 2 Votes)
Total Voters: 42
Loading ...As always, check out our expired polls in the archive or read through the previous posts about polls here.
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December 15th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Some people don’t believe in Santa? I don’t get it? Who eats all those cookies if it isn’t Santa? We don’t have any kids but Santa still visits our house and if we have some kids I have no doubt Santa will visit them too (if they behave). Santa rules, non-believers drool!
December 15th, 2008 at 11:32 am
We don’t push the Santa but we also don’t ruin it either. For our children, it goes like this… “if you don’t believe, you don’t recieve.” And before I get lambasted, that policy is more or less incentive for the oldest kid to not ruin it for the younger two kids.
As for resentment about being lied to? Get over it you bunch of babies. Peoples always need something to blame their problems on.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I don’t necessarily think that it’s that they need someone to blame, it’s just that they don’t want to perpetrate the same falsehoods that their parents did. One person I spoke to mentioned that he ended up questioning a lot of life’s questions after he realized that Santa was false.
I suppose that once you realize that some of these things aren’t real then you do have to take into question everything your guardians have taught you and for some, I suppose that’s something they fear with their own children.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:43 am
On the surface I would tend to agree with you. But when you consider the entire ridiculous notion of the Santa legend (north pole, flying reindeer, etc etc etc), and using that as the basis to question everything else, come on. At that point, it’s being used as an excuse.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:51 am
I guess it depends on your threshold for ‘ridiculousness’. Some people do view biblical verse as being just as ridiculous (ascending into heaven from the dead after three days, healing the blind, turning 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish into enough food to feed many, etc). Now, I’m not here to argue either side, I’m just here to say that people can and do view what their guardians say as gospel and when they later find out that it might not be true, it may be difficult for them to determine which of what they were told is more or less ‘ridiculous’.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Hey, if a long haired, sandal wearing do-gooder can walk on water to prove a point to his disciples than a fat guy in a red suit flying around the world in one night with the aid of some reindeer isn’t too big of a stretch.
I have to get back to work now, Santa may be watching!
December 15th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
But you can’t compare it to the Bible. The Bible is the Word of God and it is NOT debatable anyway. ;-) er.. um.. :-) (hope that lightning truly is lazy)
December 15th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
In my house I never believed in Santa. My mother didn’t want to lie to us. I wasn’t one of those kids that ruined it for others but it was such a non issue in our house that I was taken back by Bill’s horror that I had never believed. I still loved Christmas.
I know that Bill has lots of fond memories of believing in Santa so when the time comes I’ll go along with what he wants either way. I think the harder thing for me will be deciding how much encouragement of believing in Santa is okay? Will going too far make it more likely that your child will look at you with distrust? I have no idea. I don’t have any experience to draw upon.
My best friend growing up believed Santa not only brought you your toys Christmas Eve but also the entire Christmas tree. Some people leave Santa footprints, reindeer tracks on the lawn, jingle bells in the middle of the night, eat the Christmas cookies, track Santa on Norad, pen a Santa response letter, and dress up as Santa to put the presents under the tree. Is it all okay? Only some? When your child looks at you point blank and asks if Santa is real what do you say? What if your child is only 5 when they ask you? Is your answer different if they are 9? Tricky stuff. I can see why my mom opted to avoid the situation completely.
December 15th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Granted, he can already do “moderate” level sudokus and algebra, but my 6 year-old figured out Santa this summer. He pretty much announced (in the van with the other kids) that “I know you and mom are Santa…the presents are wrapped with the same paper”. We don’t really push Santa on the kids, but I kind of winked and said…”What if Santa is in a hurry and wraps stuff at the houses.” It was just plausible enough to leave him with that 1% feeling of wonder and curiosity.
That’s really what it’s about…and that goes for the bible as well. Faith and symbolism and curiosity are unique to each individual and at some age, everyone starts to develop a sense of what’s what in their own world. As a parent, I don’t need to be the source of truth on all things. I want to shepherd the kids through their discoveries, but also help them to appreciate living the questions as much as the answers.
On a side note, he’s completely bought into the tooth fairy.
December 15th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
MSPD, do you believe that your children understand your desire to guide them through their own choices or do you wonder if they believe you outright?
December 15th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I think too many people are buying into the Christmas TV specials in which the villian is a jaded old grump whos life completely changed for the worse because he didn’t get just the right toy for christmas when he was 6, thereby ruining Christmas forever until at age 35, some poor kid with nothing gives him the yoyo or the weenie whistle, or whatever. Hell, maybe “I don’t want to lie to my child” is really just a fancy justification to hide the real reason: The parents don’t want some fictional character to get credit for the nice gifts purchased with their hard earned cash.
My daughter had questions this year, and my wife, after what she claimed was much badgering, finally spilled the beans. Now my daughter is just fine. She is proud of herself for figuring it out and feels she is a “grown-up” now. She is looking forward to perpetrating the whole myth on our new son. She still expects a Santa gift, and i did indeed get the tooth fairy shakedown. I am still a little disgruntled, so I think her Santa visit duty she is so keen to participate in will be running a sled around the front yard in the middle of the night to make tracks.
In any event, she is a well adjusted young lady who appreciated the game for what it was, looks forward to playing the other side of the game, and has not had her core values shaken in any way. If the Santa thing is what pushes your kid over the edge, I think you need to look deeper for the root cause of the child’s “issues”.
December 15th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
I haven’t discussed this with my husband, and we do not yet have children, but I have to say we’ll teach that he’s real. Teaching children’ about Santa Claus, or Kris Kringle, or the Easter bunny, the Tooth Fairy, any imaginary person or creature is much more about teaching children to use their imaginations and to think and wonder that maybe there’s a little more out there than science can prove than it is about “lying” to your children. I imagine that every parent has lied to their child about something at one point or another. Why take away the magic of the world before you have to?
December 15th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Oh Man! You gotta believe in Santa! Our two boys (now 26 & 27) always waited for Santa – still do, I think, but in a different way, now. Even after they were “clued in” about Santa, there were always times when one of the four of us would say, “See, I guess there really IS a Santa.” The world is full of great examples of people being Santa, and I hope that everyone experiences at least one of these little moments every holiday season.
Yeah – we did them all – Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy but Santa, . . . Now that was special!
December 15th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Wait…so you’re saying the Easter Bunny isn’t real? WTF?!?!?!
December 15th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Our first child was always a big fun ruiner who would simply not believe our lies no matter how convincing we tried to be. She played along to humor us, and that was fine, and she grew up to be a halfway decent human being. Then her sister came along, and that kid believed totally and completely, and parenting her was way more amusing, which is the point here—my own amusement. I used to jingle some sleighbells under my bed on Christmas morning, and one year she came flying into our room and found me looking out the window and pointing, and she still swears she saw Santa flying over the neighbor’s house, and she is now 17 years old. Magic! I love it. Deciding what to tell our kids did cause us some hand-wringing, but you know what? It’s not that huge a decision. They’ll be fine, either way. I vote for letting them have wonder and magic.
December 15th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Bill,
Hard to say. If I state something as fact, they will believe me absolutely. But I think they each understand that mom and dad won’t just do things for them or give them the answers to everything. My middle son (almost 5) has trouble turning shirts inside out sometimes. I’ll sit there and coach him for three hours rather than choose the 1/2 second it takes to grab it and do it myself. If he gives up and puts the shirt on inside out, I pat him on the back and tell him “that was a creative solution!” and let him live out the decision.
When the older boy claimed he had figured “Santa” out, I simply planted the seed of possibility and left it at that. I could see him start to mull it over.
We all live into the answers at some point and I know he’ll decide for himself the degree to which Santa exists. In matters that don’t pertain to safety and basic life responsibilities, I don’t see why I have to force black or white on them. I think they get that.
December 15th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Yes, Billy Roehl there is a Santa and he lives in my heart. If he didn’t, there would have been many a Christmas where there would have been coal dust under the Christmas Tree.
December 15th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I don’t know when I learned the reality of the whole Santa story, but I know growing up, until that point, I always was excited, happy and eager to check out the tree in the morning.
I think now, it’s important for kids, big and small to believe in something, without getting into a whole theological debate, it’s good for kids to have imaginations and believe in things growing up – I know I didn’t have my dreams of the fat man shattered, because I would remember that, but I do think, that if we raise our kids to believe in folklore, that we ease them into the reality of it, and not crush their dreams and fantasies in the process of setting reality aside from our imagination.
I think now, in our ‘current’ times, kids need something to believe in, heck, I watched the sequel to the Santa Clause on TV last night, and I found it enchanting, and cute, so call me a big kid who still likes to believe in things :)
December 15th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
I was “lied” to when I was a kid, but I eventually figured it out, it was also harder to believe when there wasn’t a fireplace for Santa to invade our house with.
I’m not sure what I’ll tell our kids someday. I didn’t really question my parents after I found out Santa wasn’t real, but I do see that side of the argument. The decision will probably be made on a whim (like most everything else in my life).
December 15th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I found out about Santa when I was six years old, and on that same day, I came to the conclusion that the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Jesus were all made up too.
But I’m still okay with that.
December 15th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
So right now we have a majority of people saying that there should in fact be a “magic” side of Christmas and to let go from the worries I have mentioned. Even with all of that, we haven’t heard much from those people who do not teach their children about Santa for one reason or another.
Anyone out there believe in the other side, just teaching your children that it’s a legend and that it’s not something real? How do you go about that and do you choose to ask them not to ruin it for others? When do you go about explaining that to them so that they understand?
December 15th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Hey Emily, I hate to break it to you.. you can debate the existence of a God or a deity all day. But it’s a documented fact that Jesus was real.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Mrs. Marcos, I’m sorry, I did not mean to imply that the Easter Bunny is not real, merely that his (her? Do we really know the EB is a male?) existence is frequently called into question much like Mr. Claus.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
dawnmarie, the only thing I know about the EB is that his ears need to be eaten first.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
yekk.. all I can think of is pastel yellow, pink or blue marshmallows.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Yes bf, I know Jesus was a real person. I just meant that that was my assumption when I found out about Santa.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
If a parent is worried about whether belief in a “real” Santa will hurt their child, relax. In the end, your child will find all kinds of things to blame you for. The Santa thing is nothing!
But to set the record straight, Santa is real!
December 17th, 2008 at 8:58 am
I soooo remember a Christmas not that long ago where a 9 or 10 year old “Billy Roehl” jumped from his loft bed at 2 AM when he heard the sleigh bells and swore for weeks on end that for sure he saw Santa whizzzzz aloft in Clarks Summit on Tulip Circle and away to his next scheduled stop. The memories and wonder of that particular night still are in my heart and always make Christmas a “wonder”. The best part of being a parent and an adult is the “giving” we are able to do and the smiles and wonder we can put on some elses face and in their heart. When I turned 17 and went to work at my very first job, the best of Christmas was and always has been the part of buying someone else exactly what they wanted and the look on their face when they smiled. I never recieved as much joy getting something as I always did giving something. I consider the giving part to be what the REAL Santa is all about.
December 22nd, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Just a quick note of thanks to everyone who posted here last week, because as luck would have it, my 8 year old eavesdropped on a conversation at a family gathering which centered around the mechanics of making the present said son received from Santa at age 4. Needless to say, he had been doubting, no thanks I’m sure to his friends at school and older kids on the bus, and that pretty much sealed the deal. I was ready, however, based upon the input last week, to pull him aside and talk with him privately before he turned spoiler for the cousins and his little brother, and the discovery did not spread like wildfire, which would have been a disaster. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone!
December 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Make sure you tell mini-Whit that he must believe to receive…that might help to keep the magic alive at least long enough for the younger brother to get a little older. Merry Christmas, Whit & family…you’re pretty alright except for that DVD in the nether region comment you left once…that still makes me shudder.
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:54 am
Merry Christmas to you and yours too, Mrs. Marcos. You’ve been good this year, so I’m sure Santa will be leaving a box of wine or two under the tree for you. Enjoy responsibly!