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Engrish Classic Lamp Concinnity!
Classic Lamp, suit both refined and popular tastes
Kim and I headed up to Chris and Laura’s for an afternoon of bean bags, drinking, snacking, dinner, etc.
Soon after arriving Chris and I headed downstairs to play a game of bags and I noticed this gaudy, horrendous, bright, colorful and fascinating device sitting on a table in their basement running parallel to the indoor court. At first I tried to ignore the shimmering star lightning up the darkened basement court but on subsequent visits to the basement during the day, I couldn’t help but ask what this fantastic object was all about.
Chris let me know that their families have a White Elephant at Christmas and that this was one of the unbelievable items they “won”. Laura wanted to immediately swap it with someone else but Chris insisted that they bring it home to place on their mantle — the table adjacent to the bean bag court and next to their used 15″ CRT will have to do for now I suppose.
On one of our trips up and down the stairs, I noticed a strange blue box in their laundry room. Laura eventually brought this curiosity upstairs because, according to her, it was better than the device itself. I was pressed into service to attempt to read the box and decipher the content it contained. To my trained eyes this was what I believed to be a foreign language still spoken today known as Engrish!
I began to read the side of the box which contained the warnings. I was having a pretty difficult time translating what was on the box as it didn’t make much sense, the punctuation was off and more importantly, I was laughing so fucking hard that I couldn’t make it through without tears rolling down my cheeks (please note, this was most likely do to the numerous beers I had already imbibed!)
I, knowing my mobile camera would not do this beauty any justice, decided to hand copy the warnings for your reading pleasure. Please note that any punctuation, spelling or grammatical errors are intended (by me):
- Warning:
Use the batteries wrong will cause the batteries broken or the pile out,And do damage to the people and property.
Do pay attention to the followings:
1.Do not install the batteries with the wrong polarity,and the supply terminals are not to be short-circuited.
2.only batteries of the same or equivalent type as recomended are to be used.
3.Do not mix old and new batteries.
4.Do not burn the batteries or put batteries. in a high tempereture circumstances.
5.Replace the exhausted batteries as soon as possible.
6.Do not recharge the batteries.
Now, as I said above, the device itself is just absolutely fantastic. It’s very much a beacon of ownage that needs to illuminate desks, mantles and/or dining room tables around the world. I personally would love to have it on my desk at work but I wasn’t permitted to take it with me — even after much drunken pleading and whining. I was especially drawn to this object because the box had told me that it suited both refined and popular tastes, something which I hold close and dear to my heart.
The construction, a plastic fake log cabin facade, along with a moving fish tank below a sudo-cuckoo clock was awesome. Instead of having the switch to turn off the fish tank in the back along with the controls for the clock, alarm and electrical cord (which only powered the fish tank and not the clock), they put it on the bottom of the front, in red, so that you wouldn’t miss it — well, if you weren’t mesmerized by the illusion of swimming, radioactive fish!
I really wanted to try the alarm but being that the electric cord only powered the fish tank and we didn’t have any batteries on hand, I couldn’t. It was quite the bummer for me there.
I look forward to a subsequent trip back to Chris and Laura’s to test out the alarm but I may have to do so soon. Laura is interested in bringing it into work to put on her desk to see if anyone notices… She’s bratty like that ;)
See all the pictures from our time with Chris and Laura (including shots of their excellent wild rice and chicken dinner) here (mobile).
Saint Paul Saints at Midway Stadium: St. Paul, MN
Out with Kim, Chris, Laura, and Aaron at the Saint Paul Saints game. I got an e-mail at work about cheap tickets ($9 for a hot dog, pop, hat, and ticket) just for being an upstanding employee of the State of Minnesota. Woot. We had to leave the last Saint’s game we went to because it was fucking freezing ass cold (even for Minnesota) and I was getting sick…
While tonight was absolutely gorgeous weather it wasn’t as good as the time that we won free Bucca di Beppo at the game. The humidity was low and the sky was nearly cloudless. The temps were in the low 70s and it just ruled for outdoor baseball. Woot.
We got there a little late because I had to run home and pick up Kim before heading back up to the stadium. Midway Stadium is only 14 miles from where I work but I had to drive about 45 that night running around. Stupid dog making us go home ;) Chris and Laura had gotten there only minutes before and we ended up parking next to them. It’s a little difficult to miss their car with the CA plates and UC Davis plate cover. Heh. You’ve been in Minnesota how long now?! ;)
Aaron met us at the park as well. He needed to pick up his GPS and give me some US Topo v3.0 CDs. Woot. Thanks. I was supposed to load the maps for San Fran on his GPS but I lost my fucking Mapsouce somewhere. I’ll get it this week — too late for him. He said he’ll just use the topos. Whatever.
The Saints were playing the “Saltdogs” from Lincoln Nebraska. While I spent most of the game drunkenly taunting the “Saltdogs” for their awesome name, they still beat the fucking shit ass Saints 2-1. Douchebags.
Overall a good night. Aaron took some pics and put them on that stupid fucking Flickr site here.
Of course I took some photos with the hiptop that you can catch here (mobile).
Weeklong Wrap Up
I have been busy at work and at home as well as planning for the MnGCA’s Spring Event so the website hasn’t been getting a lot of love from me. Oh well. You’ll all live.
Friday’s are now half days for me until July 25th. I have to work 9 hour days which kinda sucks but I certainly enjoyed the 8-12pm on Friday! I finally got an e-mail back from the coach of the Macalester Masters swim team out of Macalester College in St. Paul. She said that they have room for me and we decided that I will try it out for a week starting the 12th of June. My prepayment with the District 196 Community Education swimming runs out on the 9th and even with the USMS registration and $40/monthly fee, we save a few bucks for the year (I think $7). I’m looking forward to swimming under a coach and with some other people! After work I drove over to hang out w/Chris and drink beer all afternoon. Definitly a nice way to spend a sunny Friday afternoon ;)
At about 3:50 I decided to beat out any rush hour traffic and drive home to be there before Kim. On my way I purchased three more .50 cal ammo boxes for the Spring Event. I already had a single .50 cal and a single .20mm (huge) ammo box painted and then sanded and painted the other three on Friday night. The sun was out and shining away and the paint dried fast. Good deal.
On Saturday morning I went to swim (did 3500 yards, not bad) and had a scratchy throat. Kim had been sick earlier in the week and I knew it was only a matter of time before I would get it too. Well, it had started. I felt better after the swim and spent the rest of the day lounging around the house waiting for the St. Paul Saints game that night.
Last week we planned to meet up with Chris and Laura at the game and Kim did all the leg work to pick us up tickets. There had been intermittent rain all day Saturday but right before game time the skies cleared and it ended up being very beautiful, although a bit too cold. I think that this cold had quite a bit to do w/my resulting condition today :( We left after the 6th inning just as the Saints were turning it around. A funny side note, a year to the day ago Kim and I had attended the St. Paul Saints Game and won free Buca di Beppo!
I had planned to spend the day hiking around w/Chris and hiding the freshly painted ammo boxes for the Spring Event. This morning I woke up at 3:30am just absolutely miserable and sick. I was uncomfortable as hell and did some cleaning before finally waking Kim up to keep me company around 4:30am. I continued to clean and watched some TV with Kim and then we went on a walk just after sunrise around 6am. We were surprised at the number of people who were out and about at that time walking! We saw a young family w/a young kid as well as several out walking their dogs — much to Buddy’s excitement.
We went to the store and got me OJ, tissues, DayQuil, and a Vicks inhaler. I looked like a walking sick person. If the store had been more crowded, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see people diving out of my way and reaching for the nearest Lysol spray or face masks… I spent the rest of the day on the couch, in bed, or watching TV half-dazed from the DayQuil buzz.
Kim and I headed over to the Dakota County Galaxie Library to nab some books. I’ve been doing a lot more w/Access at work (bleh) and picked up some book on VBA that doesn’t tell me much more than I already know but I hope that it adds at least a little to my knowledgebase. I also picked up Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader : North Korea and the Kim Dynasty. It’s interesting so far but I, admittedly, haven’t gotten out of the first chapter. There’s only so long I can read before my head feels like it’s going to blow up all over the pages.
I don’t know yet how I am going to feel tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t spend most of the evening wandering around the house wondering if my eyeballs are going to fall out of their sockets from the sinus pressure. I would like to make it to the pool and then on to work w/o any issues but I really don’t see that happening :(
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