From the Pioneer Press’ South Metro Police Calls:

I have a feeling both sides are lying here:

Assault: A bartender at Valley Lounge, 3385 Minnesota 13, called police about midnight Jan. 1 to report a patron had assaulted the bar’s bouncer. When police arrived, they found the patron lying in the parking lot with the bouncer standing above him. The patron was cited for assault.

Elvis has left the building:

Burglary: A woman called police about 9:15 p.m. Dec. 25 to report a burglary at her apartment in the 200 block of Sixth Street South. She had been away from home and found things out of place when she returned. Stolen items included Xbox games, about $250 in cash, Elvis collector coins, a carton of cigarettes, two necklaces, two TV converter boxes, women’s rings and a 1959 Elvis collector calendar. She also found butter on the counter and some of her Christmas cookies missing.

From the Star Tribune’s South Metro Police Blotter:

Miscellaneous. At 5:32 p.m., an officer responded to a call: “The two-year-old son accidentally locked the other son in the bathroom, mother needs help …”

Disturbance. At 7:24 p.m., an officer responded to a call: “Report from one neighbor that the other neighbor is making too much noise opening and closing his sliding patio door …”

Related posts:

1. Drunken Mayhem and Teenage Thievery
2. Can You Hear Me Now?
3. Animals Wanted: Dead or Alive
4. Random Sampling of South Metro Police Calls
5. Passive Aggressive Behavior at its Finest