From the Pioneer Press’ Eagan, Hastings, West St. Paul police calls:
Your neighbors called, they thanked the thieves for removing all of the tacky shit from your yard:
Theft: Three lawn ornaments were stolen in one month from a yard in the 1200 block of Pine Street, it was reported Sept. 16.
I suspect he took the name of the store literally:
Attempted theft: A man was caught shoplifting Sept. 16 at Quik Pic Food Market, 824 Allen Ave. He left the area on foot, leaving behind a backpack containing sausage, cold beer and two drills.