So, Kim and I owed money to George for his war effort and we paid on time. I believe that I paid, with a check, and had it in the mail the day before it was due. I know that the IRS cashed this check because on 4/24 we were suddenly missing over $800 that was, at least at some point in the recent past, used to drop part of a bomb, shoot a few bullets, or clean up some IED blast in either Afghanistan or Iraq.
Now, according to the handy, dandy Stimulus Payment Schedule available through the IRS’ ever so friendly website, I was able to find out that we should have received our payment no later than May 2nd (we specified direct deposit information on the return). If the IRS didn’t really feel like using that, because we decided to delay the inevitable by paying with a check ourselves, they also had the option to mail out a check to us in return on May 16th.
Now, you would normally think that I should have received this payment, as many others have already, long ago but, alas, we have not. Beginning at the end of May I started to call the IRS and was directed through their phone tree or to use their useless online services. Their website and their automated phone tree asks for your SSN, the number of exemptions you claimed, etc and says it will be thrilled to provide you with your status. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, they are unable to tell me jack fucking shit about my return. So wonderful, since you can’t tell me electronically the least you could do would be to put me into some endless phone queue that I would be thrilled to sit on and wait to speak to a live human fucking being so that I could end up with my $1200 payment.
Any other good customer service oriented company with long wait times and terrible customer service representatives operates like that right? Well, even after all the billions of dollars that the IRS collects, they cannot staff enough people to answer the phones when people come calling for their money. I guarantee you that if I hadn’t paid my fucking taxes they’d have some asshole calling me right away for the money (well, probably not but they’d probably send the gestapo instead). I called several times over the last few weeks, including twice just moments ago, and waited for the phone tree to prompt me to pick from two options that don’t work and finally I got it to ring through to what I hoped would be the endless queue of boredom only to find that, well, the IRS is dead and no one can help me. Click.
Fuck you George, fuck you IRS, and fuck you phone tree. Where in the fuck is my $1200 (really less than $400) that you promised I could use to stimulate the economy and stop the never ending slide back to 1985? Seriously, where the fuck is it?
I guarantee I will get just as good of an answer here as I would calling those fucking retards again…
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June 17th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
If you got “the letter” stating that you were entitled to the “stimulus” check (AKA mortgage against our future, loan from China, no fucking help whatsoever…) you’d likely have it and I sincerely doubt that the same government that has our country teetering on the edge of 1929 would ever screw something up. Maybe you forgot to submit form 113498B in triplicate.
June 17th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
That sucks. I finally just got mine a week ago but not before getting a letter on June 3rd in an envelope from the IRS that said “Tax Stimulus Payment” on it and it was just a letter saying “your payment is coming not later than June 6th”… then June 10th it came.
We should be able to fine the IRS for being so inefficient and wasteful.
June 17th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Seriously, you’re skating dangerously close to being unpatriotic. Perhaps you should slap another magnetic yellow ribbon to the back of your car and support our war efforts. Traitor.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Oh, its patriotic to lie to the country, wipe your ass with the constitution and our rights, watch 4000 of our finest citizens die as a direct result of your inability to plan and execute a war, run this country’s economy into the fucking ground, leak information about patriots who are working in our countries secret service as retribution for her husbands disagreement with your war drumming, allow your former company to win every fucking contract for the reconstruction of Iraq through blind bid.. basically running the most morally and ethically corrupt government in the history of this country, save maybe US Grants administration.
That’s bullshit.
But worst of all, attempt to discount the opposition by calling them unpatriotic and accuse them of being traitor because they notice the emperor has no clothes.
Thank goodness there’s big change in the political wind.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
We too have yet to get our check. We did file on the 15th, but haven’t seen any letter of delay or anything. I’m getting ready to stimulate my boot up George’s ass. Why don’t they just do a smart option and take Amount_You_Owe – 1200, and either give you a bill, or rebate, vs. making one fucking payment to offset another, make the mail-carrier work hard, waste a check, an envelope and a stamp. Here’s to a real god damn efficient system we have.
What gives the gov’t a right to hold onto OUR money without a penalty, when they nail our ass to the wall the second we miss a 12:01 deadline for payment of taxed? WTF people.
June 18th, 2008 at 7:45 am
The IRS has been a piece of shit much longer than GW has been around. And just to be clear, the stimulus check was the idea of your “rated even lower than Bush” liberal Congress. W only signed the bill. So whine about bombs and war all you want. But to associate the stimulus as a Bush policy proves that you’re all morons.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:25 am
I’m only associating lying, misinformation, and the reversal of our inherent constitutional rights to Bush policy.. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned the rebate check at all.
You missed the whole point.. Moron.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Sank, he was referring to all of us collectively I believe.
“Borat” probably believes I’m some sort of left-winger when in fact I’m a true Republican — you know, a fiscally conservative one?
June 18th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I believe you are right, but he’s still a moron.
June 18th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Sank, can’t say I disagree with you there! :)
June 18th, 2008 at 11:53 am
From the IRS’ FAQ:
And just for shits and fucking giggles, I decided to look up the penalties that the IRS has for us taxpayers when we don’t pay them on time. You can check out their FAQ. Here’s the relevant bit:
The FAQ for the stimulus package payment says that I should have received it starting 6 weeks after I filed. They are currently three weeks late according that invalid logic but we’ll let it slide… So next week when they are a full month behind they’ll owe me $1206. I’ll be awaiting my $1206 check you assholes!
June 18th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Perhaps you’re in sort of the same situation as my boyfriend. He owed a whopping $7 and some change on his taxes, which he paid by check. He just got his stimulus payment by direct deposit a few days ago, minus exactly the amount that he owed, though he already paid it.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Katie,
Well, at least he got paid!
June 18th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Perhaps the recent mail thieves who are stealing checks and credit cards from mailboxes in Lakeville got my “stimulus” check?!
Being that we have a lock on it that probably only deters me from checking the mailbox frequently enough I’m sure we are safe — unfortunately :(
June 18th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
My wife and I haven’t gotten ours yet either — we paid with direct deposit right out of our checking account, and haven’t gotten our $1200 yet. Since both of us have SSNs with very high ending numbers, we unfortunately won’t be getting our check until mid-July if it comes by mail, and that’s assuming it’s on time.
I’m kind of surprised that this hasn’t gotten more media attention. There’s been a few stories here and there on it, but nothing major. I’d rather see some attention paid to this than yet another story on high gas prices or the poor housing market.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Tim,
I’m tiring of the stories about high gas prices as well. Yes, they’re more expensive and yes, it sucks — bad. Move on. Then again, I just posted about it, sorta, the other day. I’m just as much at fault :(
Bill
June 19th, 2008 at 9:32 am
All this talk of media and government…must be time for an opinion poll!
Which will happen first:
a. Bill receives his economic stimulus check
b. The new driveway MSPD is having paved, thanks to his stimulus check, is complete (yes, gratuitous jealousy-inducing comment)
c. La Luz restaurant’s April opening
d. Someone dies in a fiery crash in the Apple Valley traffic circle (aka “Two Octopi Fucking Junction”)
e. The old Kowalski’s in Lakeville is razed and replaced by a Super Target
f. Mayor Hamann-Roland’s hair grows long enough to drag around on the ground when she walks
g. Hell freezes over
June 19th, 2008 at 10:23 am
[...] world famous contributer, MSPD, has posted yet another gem of a comment here that pretty much sums up all the great happenings in the South Metro. I decided that it would be [...]
June 19th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Ooooooo, the old Kowalski’s/Super Target is about a block from my house, think of all the traffic lights I could avoid! Super Target gets my vote! (unless Chili’s is an option, I love me some Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back Ribs!)
June 19th, 2008 at 11:01 am
haha, word on the street is La Luz is doing their soft opening tonight or something like that…
Either way, I have an acoustic gig their at 10pm on the 12th of July that anyone reading this should come out and see.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Ben, and I wasn’t even invited? Bummer!
I will try and make the 7/12 show but I can guarantee anything :(
June 19th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
cool, I’ll be playing there a bit (at least initially). I’ll also have a gig set up for the 26th. My friend is the music director there so I’m helping him out by filling in shows as needed.
June 19th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I should clarify, 26th of July is the 2nd show.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:02 am
We finally got the money but it wasn’t including the late fee it should have. Assholes were just shy of two months late.
August 6th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I was supposed to receive my stimulus payment in May, it is now August & I have yet to receive it. I called them in June asking where it was & they said they mailed it, but it got returned & had been sitting there at the IRS for a month. So, I got them to re-mail it, but after 2 weeks still had not received it, so I called again & was told that it takes 2-3 weeks for them to even re-mail it. Really? It takes 2-3 weeks to put something in the mail. So, yet again I wait, another 2-3 weeks, still nothing. So, I call back on a Monday late in July & they say they had mailed it the Friday before, but the guy says, well the address they have in here is not correct so it will probably be returned again. How the hell do you mess up the address when I have called 3 different times & gave it to you? It has been almost 2 weeks since it was supposedly put in the mail & it’s still not here. I called back this morning & the woman tells me that it had not been returned, but the post office has 30 days to return it, so I can’t call back until the end of August. Are you fucking kidding me?? So, I tried calling the post office & it’s not there, so god only knows where the fuck my check is. I love how if we don’t pay our taxes on time, the IRS charges us fines, well I would like to charge the fucking IRS fines for the 4 months they are behind paying me!
August 6th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Nicole,
That fucking sucks and believe me, I empathize with you. The IRS sucks. Just hope that karma bites them in the ass and they get everyone’s check late next year.
Thanks for the comment,
Bill