Seriously? You really think that this is going to do *anything* other than fucking piss people off and take up space in landfills? I don’t see enough of this shit on the web, on TV, hear about it on the radio, have people talking about it at work or just about anywhere I go? I also need 16 of these pieces of shit in my fucking mailbox in one day?

LEAVE ME, AND EVERYONE ELSE, ALONE GOD DAMN IT!

Pork Noodle Soup and Sticky Rice

The point of this post is to create a thread here that will offer a place for South Metro residents to voice their opinions, suggestions, etc on ways that new non-chain restaurants in our area can come in and thrive instead of closing their doors as quickly as the majority have in the last three and a half years that I have been paying such close attention. While the big national and regional chains have the ability to do market research and assessment, I know that many of the “mom and pop shops” that are coming and going cannot. Let’s have an open and honest discussion about what we feel is necessary to get these businesses to actually succeed in our area.

To start this off, I’m going to offer my top four main themes and then go through some of the restaurants that have survived, some of those that have been more recent that are continuing to thrive, and those that have come and gone in the blink of an eye. I do ask that you add to this list and then also create your own. Any ideas are welcome (positive or negative). Maybe, just maybe, if the owners-to-be stumble across this they’ll know what they’re getting themselves into when they sign that lease on some strip mall corner unit in “downtown” Apple Valley.

1. Service

The customer is always right… I realize that this is cliche and usually far from the truth but because it’s cliche, people really believe that they deserve to be treated as if they are a king when they go out to eat.

Why any restaurant owner would not only permit poor food to come out of their kitchen but scream, loud enough for the patrons to hear, about the staff and patrons I will never know. A restaurant won’t last very long in any market, let alone the South Metro, while treating customers with such little respect. Take for example Divinci’s Pizza in Lakeville which closed a few years back. We had a mixed up order and no one would take the blame. It certainly wasn’t our fault but neither the owner/chef or the waiter would take responsibility and spent a good bit of time screaming at each other in the back loud enough for us to hear. Nice touch.

2. Facility and location

Not every restaurant needs to be high end, gorgeous and super comfortable. While it’s certainly a nice touch, I don’t typically pay much attention (other than to note in my review for others) what a space looks and feels like. The important part is in the service and the food. So, instead of wasting $5 million dollars on a copper clad, wave form building with a custom glass sculpture hanging from the ceiling like the now defunct Copper Bleu in Lakeville had, concern yourselves with opening up your restaurant for a reasonable amount of money and then worry about upgrades later — like when you have customers. Please note that this building is still vacant because no one is going to buy that awkward looking structure settled amongst the other outbuildings in a Cub Foods parking lot at the edge of farmland in the deep South Metro. While the Copper Bleu had great service and good food when we visited, it couldn’t dig itself out from underneath the weight of that building and its terrible location.

Another example would be the very recently closed La Luz in Apple Valley. While they had great food but slow service, they spent over two months preparing the space with new tile which looked great when it was done but kept them paying on their lease with no income. They were only open four months before they were overcome and went under much to the dismay of many of us in the South Metro.

I theorize that you can survive just as well with a no-frills hole in the wall place such as Piccolo’s Pizza in Eagan or Ole Piper in Lakeville. Nothing fancy about either of these places and in most cases, they’re not exactly clean but yet people come back again and again to enjoy their offerings.

3. Alcohol

It seems that in order for mom and pop businesses to be successful here in the South Metro, you must cater directly to the needs of suburban Minnesotans and that includes feeding people as much alcohol as they can possible imbibe. Look at the successful small restaurants in the area (I’m going to include local chains too) and you’re going to find Panino Brothers, Majors, Rascal’s Apple Valley Bar and Grill, Carbone’s Lakeville, El Azteca, El Patio, and Ole Piper. Guess which ones serve alcohol?

In my review of La Luz (mentioned above) I posted that if they wanted to succeed, especially during their live music nights, they needed to serve something other than sandwiches and snacks. People are going to come to your venue but they aren’t going to spend much unless they are throwing down dollars aimed directly at your beer taps and liquor shelves. Even “wine bars” like what was available at Two Guys From Italy and Pardon My French probably aren’t enough and even with the serving of alcohol, you may end up closing up shop like Fajita’s Southwest Bar and Grill.

4. Food

I don’t know how many restaurants I’ve been to that serve either mediocre or downright awful food. I won’t bother you with listing the number of places I have been that just didn’t do what they were meant to do very well. I want to note that when I say, “good food” I not only mean that it needs to taste good but that it needs to fill a niche and not copy something we already have.

Let’s take for instance the failed Fajita’s Southwest Bar and Grill that I mentioned above under the “Alcohol” heading. Yes, they had alcohol but their food was a direct copy of Qdoba or Chipotle. While we don’t have a Qdoba in the immediate area, we do have a Chipotle fairly close by. Why would a restaurant feel that by copying *that* successful food item but add slow service and a bar that they would survive and overcome their $250k+ small business loan?

If you really feel the need to copy someone, do it the right way like Satay 2 Go who not only fills a niche (Asian street food *and* Asian pastries) but also tops their competitions’ offerings. If Asian isn’t you thing, why don’t you try King’s Place who not only serve burgers but do so as an art form by offering over 30 of them — which are so popular that there is rumor that a restaurant in Mankato is offering a direct copy of their entire menu, right down to the “Miesville Burger”.

All that said, I am really interested in what the rest of you have to say about the state of the South Metro restaurant scene (lack thereof?) and what we can do to help improve it. So, comment on — we’d love to hear from you.

Back in late July the Bloomington City Council rejected Target’s plans for yet another fucking SuperTarget at the intersection of Normandale Boulevard and Old Shakopee Road but Target was back at it again yesterday trying to get the city to go against the wishes of Bloomington citizens who were fearful of increased traffic.

Thankfully, unlike many other suburbs including Apple Valley where there are two SuperTargets within city limits and other outlying areas who want to become part of the ticky-tacky hell that every other MSP suburb prides itself on, Bloomington told Target to go fuck themselves! Not only was the Bloomington City Council concerned about the increase in traffic at the intersection but they actually showed that they have a brain and mentioned that they were “just as concerned that a SuperTarget would hurt struggling smaller retail areas nearby.” Seriously? You want to support small business owners and keep out big box store competition? What a concept!

Unfortunately, before the mayor and the six member council all showed that they were against the proposal, a representative from Target immediately withdrew their proposal so that the council wouldn’t have the opportunity to reject it and force the Big Red Machine to wait a year before they could come forward with another.

The best part of this entire ordeal? The resolve of the approximately 300 Bloomington residents who stood strong against Target and their recent public relations campaign that centered around getting people to get behind the idea of ~11,500+ more cars, another fucking big box store, and the very good possibility that the Big Red Machine would put even more small business owners livelihoods at risk.

Were you one of the 300 residents who packed the meeting or are you against Target killing off small businesses in our area? Perhaps you weren’t there but actually do support another unnecessary SuperTarget in the area and think the Bloomington City Council is wrong. Either way post on, we’d love to hear from you.