Fearing the worst, the Star Tribune is continuing to unnecessarily hype yet another Sonic and the traffic it may cause. I’m not quite sure what it is about the newspapers around here but if I had to guess, I would say that they are being paid by the restaurants to write stupid fucking fluff pieces instead of honest to goodness reviews of the food. Shouldn’t they be required to notify us that “this is an advertisement”?

Please explain to me why Sonic, which is nothing more than McDonald’s with a fucking awning, is getting any attention at all? Do people really think that it’s somehow worth waiting in line for more time that I would spend grocery shopping for two weeks to eat something that tastes exactly the same as 99 other similar fast food restaurants? It’s certainly not because people want drive-in food. If they did, they would be driving to 3 Seasons in Mahtomedi or out to Delano’s Peppermint Twist but instead, they’re lining up like people do at any one of the other ~3,500 shitty fucking Sonic’s that exist in this country.

Honestly, I’ve eaten at Sonic as Kim is a fan. Even before I cavorted as some sort of typical blogger turned restaurant reviewer, I couldn’t stand that place. I realize that I’m not in the majority here but can someone seriously explain to me why anyone would choose some shitty fast food chain restaurant over locations that have true character and great food? If you happen to go to 3 Seasons and get one of their homemade root beers and then fucking tell me that Sonic’s multitude of stupid “happy hour specials” that are so heavily advertised (even before they existed in this market!) are better, well, I’ll just be forced to stamp, ‘NO TASTEBUDS’ on your forehead to let everyone know that you should be ignored, at all costs.

People, Sonic sucks. It’s really that simple. It’s not worth waiting 5 minutes for, nevermind 50+ while burning precious fuel and paying some community service officer to direct traffic in and around Savage. If you want to waste 50 minutes of your life and your gas, drive to Delano or Mahtomedi (or any of the other drive-in type restaurants around), I guarantee you that you will end up with a much better experience for your time and money.

From the Star Tribune’s South Metro Police Blotter:

I Hope lazylightning.org isn’t disturbing the peace:

Disturbing the peace. A young female at a business in the 1200 block of Town Center Drive was yelling at customers not to eat there. She was also yelling at employees. Apparently she had been fired. An officer transported her to a Harbor Shelter for young people in Hastings.

Please tell me they didn’t pass their tests:

Accident. At 4:05 p.m. an officer responding to an accident at the drivers’ examination station at 2970 Cliff Road said, “I will be doing an incident report … The accident occurred on private property while the subjects were arguing.”

Followed soon after by his sister’s cousin’s husband’s in-law’s mother’s friend, second removed:

Theft. A man in the 15400 block of Dakota Avenue S. reported that his car was stolen. While the officer was at the scene, the man’s son’s girlfriend arrived in the vehicle.

Lots of gems in today’s Star Tribune South Metro Police Blotter:

Theft Depot:

Burglary (Eagan). All Saints Lutheran church at 3010 Lexington Av. S. was broken into. A hammer and screwdrivers were missing from the pastor’s office.

Burglary (Eagan). Two officers responded to a similar call to take a report at the Trinity Lone Oak Church at 2950 Hwy 55.

Theft (Jordan). A drill valued at $1,500 was taken from an unlocked vehicle in the area of 3rd Street and Broadway Street.

Doesn’t everyone have $2000 worth of shit in their gym bag?:

Theft. A man from Burnsville reported that his gym bag with all the contents was stolen from his locker at a business in Savage. Estimated loss about $2,000.

My, what a big third leg you have:

Obscenity. A business in the 5800 block of Egan Drive reported a male fondling himself. Upon arrival officers determined that the man had a leg injury.