Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’


The Quaker Oats Company Hates the Environment

Today, after being forced (she tried to bind me up first but I prevailed in that battle) to drive to Applebee’s and then eat their tasteless and expensive food, we stopped at the mailbox on the way back to the house and I had three things inside. One was a fucking cell phone bill, one was a coupon book for more horrendous and tasteless food (this time from A&W/KFC) and a box, that Kim apparently requested be mailed to us, from the Quaker Food Company promoting their Simple Harvest line of foods.

As I was driving the last 100 feet to the house, burning enough fossil fuel to destroy another glacier, I watched as Kim opened the cardboard box provided by Quaker. At first I thought I was missing something, had Kim already utilized one of the freebie items that she requested while giving up our personal privacy for the rest of eternity (I will have a long chat with her later reminding her why we do not do these things) or did the Quaker Oats Company really give so much money to the GOP that they were fighting a personal crusade against Al Gore via political contributions to the the biggest group of environment hating lobbyists that exist?

The box contained a single half-size granola bar wrapped in some sort of non-recyclable material that the creation of no doubt was part of the cause for another small island nation in the Pacific to sink beneath the waves. It also had a glossy, and likely non-recyclable, $1 off coupon for any “1″ Quake Simple Harvest item. These two teeny, tiny items took up just under 1/3 the box. Thankfully they were kind enough not to stuff it full of Styrofoam packaging peanuts or Freon filled plastic bags. Because, well, that just wouldn’t be right.

I haven’t eaten the Quaker Simple Harvest bar yet as granola, especially horribly processed and packaged granola, is known to cause humans to create even more greenhouse gases and after this box and the glossy coupon along with the wrapper, I’m just not comfortable in helping to kill the environment even further.

Instead of just offering a free, in store display, with an option to take as many of the free items as you desired while saving the time, energy, packaging, shipping, fossil fuels of everyone from the USPS to me, they decided that this would be the best way to kill the Earth. In the end I decided that “Simple Harvest” is really short for, “We Simply Harvest Natural Resources to Ship you Oversized Packaging for Undersized and Expensive Foods While Increasing Greenhouse Gas Emissions”. What do you think?

If you’re interested in seeing this atrocity up close, check out the pictures I took and made available on Flickr here, here, and here (camera).

Juno What?

I finally got around to watching Juno with Kim. Oddly enough, I hadn’t heard of the movie when it first appeared in theaters and one of my coworkers, whom I chatted with on occasion, came into my office beaming that if there was anything I should see, it should be Juno.

After listening to Joan talk about Juno like it was the second coming and how the soundtrack was nothing but spectacular, I did what I could to get into the mood and picked up the soundtrack minutes after she left my office. I gave it a listen and while I enjoyed it, I just couldn’t see how any of the songs would be the perfect fit for a movie about a teenager getting pregnant and the trials and tribulations of handing her baby over to a newly broken home. Within minutes of starting Juno and realizing that they had blown through the majority of the soundtrack before the movie even got rolling, I saw what Joan meant by it being a perfect soundtrack for this movie. It was quite a strange realization that early on but for whatever reason it clicked.

As the movie progressed my mind started wandering, especially during the parts that I had to pause it and walk away almost in agony over the uncomfortable moments that seemed almost as common as when I watch The Riches, I began to realize that there was absolutely no way that this was filmed on location in Minnesota. Not that I don’t understand that plenty of films are not shot where the story is set, I just would have liked to have seen some of the locations mentioned in the film be what they were claiming they were rather than the suburbs of Vancouver.

Anyway, the first dead giveaway was the lack of any noticeable amount of snow during the “Winter” portion. Yes, our winters have been more mild due to the cycle of weather but there is definitely more than a dusting littering the ground in what appeared to be late spring (this year especially) with fake snow made from portable snow making machines from the nearby ski resort. The second and most obvious mistake was the ending sequence when Juno rides her bike down a tree lined street, in full bloom — which only happens in early spring here before the sun fries everything to a nice dead brown crisp — in a cute neighborhood with yards proudly cared for with an abundant array of flower beds.

Now, many of you might question why I would bring this up as something that made it obvious to me that it wasn’t Minnesota but being that we’re both transplants, we noticed the utter lack of many well manicured lawns with gorgeous flower beds filled with colorful flowers. As Kim and I explore our surroundings, she can never get over the fact that no one seems to spend hours upon hours digging, planting and allow their gardens to flourish and attract the attention of those passing by. Why is it that those who spend time gardening are so rare here in Minnesota? Is it because the winters last so long and start so early or is it because we have other things to do in the Metro that don’t include spending time beautifying our homes? Kim and I don’t have the ability to beautify our home the way she would probably like and I’m sure that once we do, we’ll be too busy with other things to garden for hours on end like I remember my mother and father doing growing up but I was wondering what everyone else thought. Do you garden and why/why not?

Back to the movie… We enjoyed it. I like movies that have minuscule budgets and well written scripts. I also like actors that can act — this movie had both. I was really impressed with Ellen Page and wondered how many takes she had to do for some of her lines. How she was able to say the hysterically dry things she did with a straight face blows my mind. Even when I am parched I sometimes have to smile after a daring line comes out of my mouth usually at the expense of some unsuspecting comedy victim. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’d buy the movie but I will be watching it again tomorrow afternoon with Josh (he wants to see it) so maybe I will see the utter genius that Joan did months ago when she came into my office to rave about Juno.

Internal Microsoft Vista Sales Video?

If this is real, it is worse than David Archuleta singing on American Idol which I wish wasn’t real ;)

Gordon Ramsay’s Broccoli Soup Recipe

This week Cub had broccoli heads on sale at two for three dollars. As you may already know, I’m a sucker for cheap food and was thrilled to snap up that deal. It’s always nice to have at least a few vegetarian entrees in the rotation not only for health but to save some cash as well, even though we have about 30 pounds of meat in the freezer.

Growing up we did a lot of steamed vegetables (especially broccoli) and while I was always a vegetable eater and fan (my first words were not “Momma”, “Dadda”, “Doggy” or “fuck”, believe it or not, but “green beans”) I have to admit, looking back…steamed veggies were kinda boring (no offense Mom; you’re a great cook and half of my current inspiration, as you well know) so I’m always looking for something that is new, interesting and easy. Extra emphasis on easy! Anything I can whip up after work for Kim and I with a minimum of prep time is bonus for me. It’s tough not to settle into a routine and eat the same old shit day in and day out but after a while you get tired of chicken breast, vegetables and a starch. Thankfully I have been watching and reading a ton of food related shows and sites trying to find new and interesting stuff to keep changing things up for our dinner menus.

Of all the stuff I check out on the web and TV, my most favorite is what’s available on BBC America. I am a big fan of Gordon Ramsay’s shows that appear on that network. The horrendous garbage that shows up on Americanized versions of his BBC shows such as Fox’s Hell’s Kitchen or Kitchen Nightmares are nothing more than staged comedy acts with creative editing to end up with a completely different end result than reality. BBC America’s versions, while still entertaining and at times even vile, are at least somewhat true to reality and are far more interesting to me than their American counterparts. I am really enjoying The F-Word because of the variety, the cool recipes he shows with such ease and well, his choice of language ;)

One day Kim and I were watching one of his shows, I’m not sure which now, probably Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, but he asked one of the chefs to use a bunch of ingredients laid out in front of them to make a broccoli soup. The other chef spent quite a bit of time prepping and cooking something that ended up a runny, puke green colored and apparently boring concoction while Ramsay whipped up a beautifully colored Kelly-green soup with three main ingredients: water, salt and broccoli. For whatever reason his quick recipe stuck in my head for several weeks until those gorgeous heads of broccoli, shipped in from some far away land using tons of fossil fuels and covered in pesticide, ended up in my fridge.

I remembered what Gordon did to get the recipe up and running but I figured a quick Google search wouldn’t hurt and I came up with an excellent five minute YouTube video showing the exact process. While in the YouTube version he uses walnuts and goat cheese, I chose to go with only some shredded mozzarella that we had in the fridge. I must admit that next time, we will definitely have to go with the walnuts and goat cheese because after our first taste it was obvious that they would go perfectly with the dish.

From start to finish (including boiling the water and prepping the broccoli) I would say this recipe took me less than 15 minutes from fridge to plate. If you try it out, especially if you do so with the goat cheese and walnuts, let me know how it went. With the two broccoli heads I used we ended up with enough soup for two bowls pictured above plus enough to freeze for another day. I would guess that this would feed a family of four without too much problem but YMMV.

I must admit that it was quite tasty. Kim thought it needed to get blended some more but I prefer a heartier soup than she does. I think she’s too partial to the “Campbell’s way” (high sodium, low flavor and more water than substance).

I’m looking forward to the next time we make this one.

Enough is Enough!


No kidding!