On Wednesday afternoon I met up with reader “lefty” for lunch at the Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant on Nicollet Ave in Minneapolis for lunch. My specific mission was to try the Cobb Salad Burger, a burger which another reader, “Michael M”, noted is the, “best burger in town.” A pretty big statement knowing the competition but with Minnesota Monthly backing him up in their 2008 Burger Kings article which highlighted the best burgers in Minnesota, I figured he had to be on to something.
We arrived at noon and asked to be seated on the Dakota’s beautiful Nicollet patio. Our server took our drink orders right away and then came back to take our food orders. lefty was being pokey and asked for a few more minutes. Unfortunately our server has a different understanding of “a few” from the rest of us, especially those of us on our lunch break, and gave us nearly 15 minutes more to think over the menu. Eventually she arrived after I poured my second water into the glass which at one point held soda/lime and she took our orders. I went with the Cobb Salad Burger described as, “8 ounce natural ground beef, classic cobb salad style, house barbeque sauce,” for $12.95 and lefty with a Half Note Lunch Plate (a pick two combination) which included a salad of mixed greens and half of a quesadilla for $7.95.
The server never came back to refresh our drinks or check on us during the additional 20 minutes which passed between her taking our orders and when the food finally arrived. Nevertheless, once it did she refreshed my soda/lime and we were presented with our lunch entrees. lefty’s Half Note Lunch Plate was unimpressive to say the least. A simple bunch of greens propped up next to a very thin quesadilla, which he remarked included a meat he couldn’t discern, and topped with more salad fixings such as thinly sliced fresh jalapeno and radish. After eating some of it he passed on the “lefty stamp of approval” and provided a pretty cold note of disapproval.
My burger, the entire reason for this trip down Nicollet Ave, was described by reader Michael M. as, “Real gourmet thing, great beef, cooked perfectly…it’s a real treat,” and as mentioned above it was backed up by Minnesota Monthly which noted, “If you want to know how five-star chefs make burgers for other five-star chefs, look no further.”
As with any recommendation provided by someone I don’t know very well and backed up by a publication which I find to be hilariously weak at best, I went in with a cautious but open mind. In my mind’s eye I envisioned a towering inferno of awesome but in reality what came out was a charred and muddied mess:
The Cobb Salad Burger is exactly what it says…a burger on top of a salad. While Michael M., noted it was open faced, little did I know that this meant it was going to appear as if someone had knocked it over between the kitchen and the table and let everything lie exactly as it fell. The, “thinly cut Bibb lettuce leaves,” as described by Minnesota Monthly were more like wilted shredded lettuce from Burger King rather than the number three Minnesota Burger Kings restaurant of 2008. The, “gorgeously charred patty…rested on a slab of grilled Pugliese bread,” was actually a charcoal briquette which would have given only Kingsford a run for its money sitting atop a tasteless styrofoamish piece of cheap toast. In fact, just for reference, the 1/3 of the burger which was the most charcoal-like was hard enough that I couldn’t easily poke my fork through the crusty exterior into the slightly less crusty interior. The entire patty, suffering from severe overcooking, was grey and tasteless. The house BBQ sauce was there and added a nice touch of nothing as I picked hunks of overdone sugar and meat from my molars while crying to the burger gods to allow for this dish to somehow be passable.
However my wish was not granted in any way, shape, or form. The crispy and tasteless onion rings on top were ice cold and the cobb salad, which was supposed to include smoked bacon, egg, and some sort of house-made pico de gallo was actually nothing even close. The overcooked and dry bacon pieces, tiny bits of egg whites, a couple of tomatoes which were too red to be fresh this early in the season, and some pedestrian bleu cheese which was clearly tailored to the Minnesota cheese palate instead of the five-star chefs Minnesota Monthly claims, were disappointing to say the least. When the server came to ask us how everything was she quickly turned tail when I alerted her to the fact that I’ve had better.
News flash Dakota: if someone says their burger, something no one could possibly screw up, is not good then you ask why and you try to fix it so that the lofty words of praise provided by others are lived up to. Unfortunately none of that happened today and the $29+ lunch along Nicollet Ave was ruined by something which was so poorly executed that perhaps it’s time for the Dakota to rethink their lunch-time strategy and close up shop unless there is some live music playing inside. Because honestly, what we were served would have been better and cheaper at a 1 year old’s birthday party for 65 than a business lunch for two. Shame on you Dakota Jazz Club for what we were served today. You should be embarrassed that a piece of overcooked Kingsford left your kitchen yesterday. Boo.
Have you ever eaten at the Dakota Jazz Club in Minneapolis? What did you think? Have you had the Cobb Salad Burger? If so what was your experience like? Do you think that a “burger” should be served atop a salad? Do you think that if it was it would be worth $13? Whatever you have to say about the Dakota Jazz’s Cobb Salad Burger failing to live up to its pedigree go ahead and comment on as I’d love to hear your own thoughts on this one.
Address:
Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant
1010 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN 55403
Phone:
612-332-1010
See all the pictures from Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant on Flickr here.
Dakota Complaints Map
Dakota Inmate Dashboard
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June 2nd, 2011 at 8:11 am
I’ve always had outstanding food at the Dakota. Never tried the Cobb Salad however. You might go down one more block and try Vincents Burger, it’ also about $13 or so, but it’s really good and I’ve never been dissappointed with it.
June 2nd, 2011 at 8:46 am
This review is missing photo documentation of how you possibly ate that hot mess. Are you supposed to cut into it with a fork and knife? Is the bed of “salad” the iceberg shreds? I’ve not been to the Dakota and this review didn’t help motivate me to try it but it did make me laugh!
June 2nd, 2011 at 8:52 am
LMAO at lefty’s food, it looks like somebody ran to their backyard, yanked some greens out of the garden and buried a Taco Bell quesidilla underneath.
Different strokes for different folks but I prefer my hamburgers between a bun, not on top of a salad.
June 2nd, 2011 at 8:54 am
Dan, congrats on comment #100!
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:23 am
This is quite the week. First I meet Bill for the first time and now Dan N and I agree on something related to food in a hamburger review. That’s wild stuff!
When Bill’s 13 dollar burger appeared, it was kind of funny watching him hack through the burger with his fork. It was a mess, once he dug in, though the initial presentation was not terrible to look at, it was disgusting once we saw the overcooked greyness of the burger. Hockey puck indeed. For a “gourmet” burger, the server didn’t bother to ask how he wanted it done. That’s 101 stuff.
My favorite part was when the waitress asked how it was and Bill said clearly, “I’ve had better”. She pretended not to hear and ran away like a little mouse that was startled when you turn the light on in the kitchen at night (not that I have mouse problems at home or anything).
Given that the first thing the waitress saw was a huge fucking camera (circa 1993, I think) taking pics of the menu, they might have thought, “maybe this is a food review person”. To then make us wait 40 minutes or so from sit down to food arrival is a joke. I guess I should have figured things out when I had to search their website for about 5 minutes just to find a menu, and even then the menu says, “sample menu” which obviously means they don’t care about their food all that much.
For the record, I eventually decided that my food had “pork” in it, but I still could be wrong. It might have been chicken or beef or lamb or tofu or duck or yak or vegan cheese for that matter. Not sure since it had zero flavor. To be fair, one of the two sliced jalapeno pepper pieces had a bit of kick, so the meal was not all bad on account of that.
Dakota green salad secret. Get some green lettuce looking stuff. Mix one oz. canola oil and one oz. white vinegar. Put oil and vinegar on lettuce stuff. Serve. I was eating pretty light with that small meal, but had about 3 bites of that non-entity. If you are not even going to try, don’t put in on the frigging menu.
It is a shame, too. Given that we were there for an hour, I was forced to take a bathroom break. The inside of that place is gorgeous. They should really consider just selling bar food at happy hour prices and hiring good musical acts if they want to find a niche. Selling good food is clearly not there priority.
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:24 am
their priority. I hate when spell check can’t correct idiocy.
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:48 am
Oh, Bill, I love it when you hate a restaurant. Brightens my morning.
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:55 am
I second jess’s comment :) This review brought a smile to my face!
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:05 am
Well, you guys left out the most important reviews! Bill, was Lefty everything that his posts lead one to believe about him? Lefty, was Bill in person exactly like Bill the evil blogger?
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:23 am
Lefty is not at all what I expected. He’s much cuter in person than what I imagined.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:31 am
Sounds like you caught the Dakota on a bad day. To be fair, I’ve never eaten there for lunch, only before an evening show. I’m there once or twice a month for shows, have had the Cobb Salad Burger a dozen or more times, and never had a bad experience like this. Maybe lunch is different than dinner, maybe they were just having an off day, don’t know. But I’ll be there next week for the Al Stewart show and will probably have the burger, so we’ll see how it goes then.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:35 am
Honestly, even if the burger had been done correctly and the service hadn’t been so unbelievably bad, I just don’t see how it can be called a burger at all. What I had yesterday was an abomination to both the cobb salad and the burger.
Listen, I appreciate someone trying to do something different but honestly, serve me the damn burger and put a cobb salad on the side. When you do, make sure they both live up to the most basic expectations of both. Even if we had separated them, neither would have been even close to their namesakes.
The Dakota royally fucked this one up in every way IMO.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:36 am
I think most of you would be surprised at how much Bill fawned over the waitress. He was like, “This is the best burger I have ever had! I am going to tell everyone to eat at The Dakota.” He continually praised her prompt service and ability to keep our water and drink glasses plentiful. He then gave her a 100% tip just to reward her for her awesome service and said, “Now make sure the chef gets half of that.”
Then he gets on the internet and completely fabricates this story about a bad meal and asks me to corroborate it even though my meal was spot on perfection. Oh, the power of the internet. Anybody can say anything.
(btw, I am quite good looking, Bill didn’t make that part up)
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:39 am
Not that you’re likely to go back, but they also do a traditional burger with your choice of fixin’s. I find it equally as good, for when I’m in the mood for that.
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:42 am
MM, do they normally ask you how you wanted it done or does it always come out Kingsford?
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:48 am
Michael M. It is fair that you are defending the burger that you like, but what about the part where I was served a whole plate of poorly thought out tasteless food? Coincidence? I doubt it. If the service had been stellar, then I reason the kitchen was having an off day. But you can’t go 1 for 3 (the 1 is for ambiance, which has more to do with the first decent day of our summer than it did the Dakota patio).
June 2nd, 2011 at 11:02 am
Don’t know what to tell you. I’ve always had outstanding food at the Dakota (not just the burgers), although I’ve never been there for lunch; I know the menu is different in the evening. I will admit that service is sometimes a tad on the slow side, which is a major annoyance when you’re trying to finish eating before a show starts.
June 2nd, 2011 at 11:03 am
And Bill, I always order mine medium rare and get it that way.
June 2nd, 2011 at 11:03 am
Now that is the truth sir!
June 2nd, 2011 at 11:04 am
MM, thanks. Apparently our server may have been 50% of the problem. Perhaps she didn’t ask and then the kitchen assumed I would want it Overwell-done.
June 2nd, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Ouch. Swing and miss indeed.
Never been, and no plans of going, but perhaps the chef is in the house at night and the day crew is the B squad? Sort of like a strip club I guess.
June 2nd, 2011 at 2:55 pm
The Dakota was a major player in the restaurant world during its earlier days in St. Paul. We ate dinner there once and have never gone back. The food was tasteless and poorly executed; the worst part was the baby greens, some of which had actually begun to ROT.
June 2nd, 2011 at 4:18 pm
I can’t say much about lunch as I’ve never been there during the day, but I do have to give praise for the Dakota’s jalapeno poppers – so good!
June 3rd, 2011 at 12:32 am
Wait, lefty is CUTE? That wrecks all of my mental images of him. Wait, Bill thinks lefty is cute? That supports all of my mental images of Bill. :)
June 3rd, 2011 at 4:45 am
[...] Roehl heaps scorn upon the often-praised Cobb Salad burger at the Dakota Jazz Club, taste-testing the frozen gyro kit [...]
June 3rd, 2011 at 7:25 am
Well, FINALLY! I had begun to think they had my picture on the kitchen wall with the caption, “Make sure to mess up her meal”.
I have never lunched @ the Dakota, but I’ve spent many nights there seeing great shows.
After being burned on the promise of ‘one of top fine dining experiences in the TC’ SO MANY TIMES, I resolved to only order the cheeseburger, which hadn’t failed to satisfy in the past.
The last 2 meals have been overcooked pucks, and to top it off, they serve the burger with these potato shreds that are useless.
Go to Vincent. Better wine list, and phenomenal burger.
Oh, and PS: The service is classically bad.
June 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am
I at at the Dakota shortly after that “Burger Kings” 2008 article and had the exact same experience. Unbelievably slow service, charred, overdone burger, weird lettuce shreds. I ate with a few co-workers and they managed to mess up almost every aspect of our meal–incorrect drink orders, incorrect doneness of burgers … When they finally visted our table and my friends sent their burgers back to the kitchen, it took another 20 minutes to get the new ones and everyone else had finished eating. The server promised to remove the burgers from the bill, but when we received the bill, we saw that didn’t happen. It took me a long time to go back, and only because they’re now located right next to work. I’ve had good experiences ordering take out from their weekly lunch specials, but I’d never go back for a meal.
June 3rd, 2011 at 11:18 am
You should have taken a picture of Lefty instead of that mess of a burger.
June 3rd, 2011 at 8:28 pm
BTW, the one time I sent a dish back, ( a dessert that was obviously never tasted) the server told me the chef was livid. Good thing he’s cute… there’s that.
June 6th, 2011 at 9:20 am
Starting Friday at lunch, I ate the the following 5 places in succession in an effort to exhume my memories of the horrible Dakota food and Service. I am providing you with letter grades of the experiences, and for reference the Dakota gets a D.
Friday Lunch: Be’witched Deli (A- for my pork stuffed turkey burger with Mozz. and peppers.
Friday Dinner: The place that used to be Sage in Mendota Heights (Mendoberri) (B+ as it was way better than I expected as we were in the area and hungry. We will go back)
Saturday late breakfast: Valley (Galaxie) Diner. (B+, A+ for attentive service, B for ordinary breakfast food)
Saturday Dinner: Forepaugh’s (A. First time there. Was totally expecting a pretentious overpriced meal, and we received perfect service, fantastic food at a price that you would expect to pay in an absolutely stunning and perfect atmosphere.
Sunday breakfast: La Chaya Bistro. (A. I thought I had found a home at Corner Table last week, but this was just as good. Their version of eggs Benedict with avocado instead of meat and green salsa instead of butter laden Hollandaise was simple and genius and healthy)
Suffice to say, I had a pretty good weekend. I broke the streak with a ham and provolone sandwich for lunch yesterday on my deck, for the record.
June 6th, 2011 at 9:30 am
After that post, I checked my bank account to see if I had any money left and realized I also spent money at a local restaurant on Thursday for dinner.
Thursday Dinner: Sea Salt (A-Almost always an A as this is easily one of my favorite places in town to go to).
It was a good run.
June 14th, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I took my wife, stepdaughter, and mother-in-law to the Dakota last night to see Al Stewart. (The show, by the way, was terrific.) Contrary to Bill’s recent experience, we were all pleased with the food — although the service was slow, as always.
For appetizers, we had the lobster and potato crepe, which was a bit unusual but flavorful, and a favorite of ours, the beef & basil carpaccio. My stepdaughter had the “carrots & peas” soup with gulf shrimp, which was a real standout.
For our main courses, my wife had the two preparations of duroc pork (she liked one of the preparations, the other was a little too fatty for her; my mother-in-law had the steamed Alaskan halibut (loved it); and my stepdaughter had the cut of the day, a 10 oz. ribeye (loved the steak, didn’t much like the mushrooms ketchup that came with it). I had my usual the Cobb Salad Burger, and it was as good as its always been. I ordered it medium rare, and that’s the way it came out. I’m wondering if Bill’s problem was with the execution (he got his well done) or the concept; it’s kind of an “everything but the kitchen sink” on a plate. Personally, I love it, but it may not be what some folks consider a “real” hamburger. To each his own, I suppose; it’s one of my favorite dishes in the cities, period.
For dessert we split a creme fraiche tart (superb) and a bowl of vanilla ice cream. Not sure whether they make the ice cream on site or source it locally, but it was very tasty.
Overall, another fine evening of dining at the Dakota and some terrific music from one of my favorite artists. I’d encourage Bill to give the joint another try; it never fails to impress us and our guests.
October 8th, 2011 at 6:42 pm
well, just so you know, that styrofoam-ish toast you reffered to? It was new french bakery’s award winning baguette. You “food critics” sure know how to order, those half note lunch plates? its a half portion… intended for the ladies… and then you complain about the size? c’mon… and how did you order your burger.. if you say medium-well I’m going to laugh. the comment on the new french crostini alone made me write you off completely as you obviously have no idea what you’re talking about. Have a good day!
October 10th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Hi Ben K.
Did it win the award for “Most Styrofoam-ish”?
For the rest of your post, you should really read the whole thread. I had a really good laugh where you call Bill and me “food critics”. I totally laughed out loud out loud.
That was a bad meal. Thanks for bringing up that terrible memory again that I thought I had stricken from my brain.
lefty
October 10th, 2011 at 4:53 pm
I have edited lefty’s comment above to fix a broken blockquote tag.
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