Yesterday was a treasure trove of Dakota County Criminal Complaints coming out of Eagan. While reading through the first few I simply shook my head at the utter stupidity of those listed but as I got to the third one in a row I decided that there must have been some sort of gas released which made criminals act more insanely dumb than usual.
The first complaint has to do with a person driving on an instructional permit who seemed confused when directed to stop, several times, by an Eagan police officer:
Officer Berens initiated a traffic stop immediately but the vehicle did not pull over. Officer Berens then got alongside the vehicle on the suspect driver’s side and pointed at him to pull over. The driver would look at her, slow down and then drive away again but did eventually stop. At Lone Oak Road and Neil Armstrong and started to get out of the car. Officer Berens then took her gun out of her holster, pointed it at him, and told him to get back in his car. The driver got back into his car but put his car in gear and continued eastbound on Lone Oak Road. Officer Berens got back into her squad, turned on her lights and siren and started to follow the vehicle again. Officer Berens followed the vehicle with lights and sirens activated to Highway 55 where the vehicle made a right turn and proceeded east on Highway 55 to southbound 149. The vehicle continued to drive southbound on 149 to Yankee Doodle Road which had a red light for southbound traffic. The suspect vehicle stopped at the red light and Officer Reuss came alongside Officer Berens and bumped the suspect vehicle. At that time, the driver appeared to see both of them. The driver was instructed several times to put his hands up and to shut off his car. Eventually the driver did shut off the car and step out of the vehicle.
[...]
The defendant stated that at the initial stop when he was told to get back in his car, he thought Officer Berens was instructing him to leave. The defendant stated he did not see the red lights or hear the sirens as he had “light deflecting glass” on his vehicle and had his radio turned up loud so he was unable to hear the siren. The defendant denied seeing Officer Berens point a gun at him but then stated that he thought she was just going to follow him home and that is why he did not stop. The defendant stated he was late for a meeting and made repeated requests to send an e-mail or make a phone call. The length of the pursuit was approximately two miles.
Then there were the morons who stole a Jeep, attempted to evade the Eagan police car chasing them, crashed and then ran on foot only to leave footprints which led right to where they were hiding:
The suspects ran behind a home on Mica Trail. Officer Sweeney found footprints in the fresh snow and followed them into the back yard. The homeowner was yelling out of his window to look in a playhouse. There was a plywood shack in the backyard with footprints that lead up to it. Officer Sweeney announced his presence and called the suspect out of the playhouse. The suspect was ordered to lie on the ground and was subsequently arrested and handcuffed.
[...]
Officer Sweeney observed additional fresh footprints in the yard of a residence that backed up to the home on Mica Trail where Giles was arrested. The footprints were tracked to a home on Amethyst Lane and the second suspect was found hiding in a garage of that home. The second suspect was identified as Samuel Fredrick Brening, date of birth 4-10-84, also a defendant herein.
[...]
As part of the investigation, it was learned that the Jeep had been stolen out of South St. Paul on December 1, 2009 from outside a convenience store. The registered owner, M.E.H., stated she had left the vehicle running while she went inside when it was stolen.
So not only are criminals stupid but people living in Minnesota are too. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR VEHICLE RUNNING WHILE YOU GO INTO THE STORE DUMBASSES.
Then finally we have a report of a moron claiming that he was opening a beer can with a knife when he cut his wife’s arm:
Through investigation it was learned that Braulio Miguel Banos Lopez, had gotten into an argument with his wife, M.A.A., in the early morning hours of November 23, 2009 at their apartment, located in Eagan, Dakota County, Minnesota. Banos Lopez admitted that he had a knife in his hand to “open a beer” and then ended up cutting M.A.A. with the knife causing a large deep laceration to M.A.A.’s left arm.
I can honestly say that even though I have drank a ton of beer in my day that I have NEVER used a knife to do so. How about you? Anyone out there prefer a knife to a finger to open that difficult can of beer?
I’m sure there are plenty of others out of Eagan (and other Dakota County cities) and if you’re interested don’t forget you can always peruse the Dakota County Criminal Complaints Archive on my site daily. Also don’t forget to keep checking the Dakota County Inmate Dashboard throughout the day to keep up to date on the latest idiots incarcerated and their glamour shots!
Dakota Complaints Map
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December 9th, 2009 at 8:04 am
I might have used a knife to open a beer or two in the day.. sometimes those dang pop tops break off.
I uh.. also have left the car running while I ran into the store in the winter. I thought thats what the FOB was for… lock the doors and keep it running.
It gets cold here man.. and I’m increasing old.
December 9th, 2009 at 8:05 am
I wonder if the guy drank the beer (“Quick, get rid of the evidence!”)? I hope Santa will bring him a can opener this year!
December 9th, 2009 at 8:09 am
it’s called intercrainialrectalinversion:)
bb
December 9th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Thanks, bb. Never knew the scientific term.
I, too, have used a knife to open a can of beer. I’m not proud of it. Probably should have lost my Tote ‘n’ Chip card for misuse of the knife (yes, I was at Scout camp at the time — you have a problem with that?) Those old-fashioned pop tops that you used to rip off the top of the can were tough to maneuver after the fourth beer. I often broke em off and had to resort to using any “opener” close at hand.
How many of us have popped a beer bottle top with our teeth?
December 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Ugh I HATED those tops when I was a kid! I used to step on them all the time, hurts like hell! Plus, I could never open them (and they never let me try with a knife, damn parents)!
December 9th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Congrats to Mrs. Marcos on her 600th comment.
December 9th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Just a note. Two ways I will leave my car running when stopping somewhere. My Ford has buttons near the drivers door for keyless entry. So I can leave my keys in the car with the car running and lock the door while I’m inside.
The second way is with remote start. I can press a button on my remote starter fob that allows me to remove the keys and have the vehicle keep running and I then lock the doors. If someone were to hop in and try to take off, the engine would stop unless they had the key in the ignition.
Unfortunately, many people will park and leave their car running with the keys in the ignition and the doors UNLOCKED!
It’s a pretty safe rule that about 90% of the criminals out there are of lower than average intelligence.
December 9th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Where I grew up people would look at you like you were backward if you told them not to leave the car running while they ran into the gas station.
Of course they would also probably shoot at someone trying to steal from them and most people probably dont lock thier doors at night.
Different time, different place. Still kinda sad though.
December 9th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I have no problems with people leaving their car running if they have another set of keys or it’s a remote start. I also do agree with Chad that it’s sad that we have to worry about this shit. Unfortunately this is just like driving on ice in Minnesota too early. People continue to do it time and time again and the result is always the same.
STOP. NOW. PLEASE.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Speaking of that, People were out on the ice on the lake near my office yesterday. They did not have a car, but did have a 4 wheeler. Wasnt it like 40+ degrees a couple days ago?
December 10th, 2009 at 8:14 am
chad, see post #3:)
bb