Tonight I was looking to continue our trek around the South Metro looking for the best burgers available to those of us south of the river. We’ve already been to Bucky’s, Junior’s, and the House of Coates. I have plans to get to some others but for tonight’s adventure I did a quick search and found Gossips Bar & Grill in Farmington, MN home to one of the two Jucy Lucy restaurants in the South Metro.
Situated next to Longbranch Saloon and Eatery, this narrow bar is located amongst the other restaurants and businesses that congregate around downtown Farmington. On our first approach to this unassuming bar I noticed the large sign on the front door that read that they do not accept credit cards. I immediately posted to twitter my great displeasure with this fact and off we went to the nearest bank for cash. Unfortunately the Bremer bank branch did not want to give us any cash and after a message to Josh to locate the nearest US Bank ATM, we headed to EconoFoods to use them as a bank. With a pocketful of cash, most of it for tomorrow’s trip to the State Fair, we went back to Gossips, went in and sat down.
Gossips is narrow and small. It has a bunch of simple tables and a fairly good sized bar. They apparently have karaoke (that’s carry-oh-kee people, no cur-oh-kee is not correct, you will not convince me or the rest of the civilized world of any other pronunciation) on Wednesdays so if you ever plan to go there for anything, make sure you aren’t there between 9 and midnight. Everything is dark except the fluorescent green menus and the bright glow from the Golden Tee machines, Big Buck Hunter and the SilverStrike bowling. If the photos suck, you can blame the terrible lighting inside this place. They don’t seem to have a website but if you’re interested in viewing the contents of those bright green menus, you can check out a copy here courtesy of the Hastings Star Gazette.
Kim and I took a seat at one of the few low tables that sat near the front door and game machines. We were immediately asked for our drink order and I took a Newcastle and Kim grabbed a Coke. Our drinks were back to us in seconds but my Newcastle was skunky and I decided on a typical light domestic for my next beer instead. I came here expecting Kim to go with the Friday night two burger special for $2.20 but she chose a cheeseburger and fries instead. I went with the “Juicey Lucey” (sic) meal and chose onion rings (to give a comparison to those that we received at House of Coates).
Kim and I didn’t have to wait long for our food and they came served in baskets lined with paper. The buns were absolutely bland and boring. You could find better buns in a five day old bread aisle at a defunct Aldi store than you will at Gossips. The burgers are tiny. While we are sorta accustomed to the monsters we had at Bucky’s, House of Coates and Juniors, I would have expected a bit more out of Gossips than the mid-range sized burgers we were offered tonight.
Kim started with her fries. She said, “wow, the fries are good… They taste just like McDonalds!” Before I took a bite of my food I tried a fry and agreed. While it’s been quite some time since I’ve had McDonald’s, it tasted just like I remembered and if I didn’t know any better, I’d honestly believe you if you told me that they would run out the back and down the road to the McDonald’s to get orders of their fries for you. After that I dug into my burger. The Jucy Lucy was cooked all right. Most people think that it shouldn’t be anything but medium but as you well know, I don’t care if it’s mooing when I bite in. This had a little bit of pink and the cheese was oozing. If I had closed my eyes, I would have told you I was eating a double cheeseburger at Rotten Ronny’s, no shit. The onion rings were completely unremarkable for me but Kim said they were better than what we had at House of Coates. I think she’s crazy but she’s the expert on that side. Her cheeseburger was also unremarkable and we have no intention of ever returning here again.
When it was all said and done, we paid $20.53 for our meals, the two beers and the drink. I guess we’d have paid almost the same with two meal deals at Rotten Ronny’s, if they served beer. The pint of Newcastle was just under $5 and the Michelob Golden Light was $3.15. While the two burger baskets were $11, I just don’t find this place to be a great deal or a good meal. My recommendation? You’re really better off going somewhere else for your food and/or beer. I’m not quite sure how they feel that they’re going to live up to their self-proclaimed award of “hottest new sports bar south of the river” but based on what we had tonight, all I can say is, “the gossip around town is, this place won’t make it too much longer.”
313 3rd S
Farmington, MN 55024-1352
See all the pictures from Gossips in Farmington on Flickr here.