According to this Pioneer Press article, a Farmington man was charged with two counts of indecent exposure and one count of disorderly conduct after he was found masturbating in a Burger King parking lot in Eagan. However, with a name like “Schwarzhoff”, what did they expect?
From the article:
According to the criminal complaint, a woman parked next to Schwarzhoff called police about 12:40 p.m. The woman, who had just come through the drive-through with her 3-year-old son, said Schwarzhoff was openly masturbating while holding a phone in the other hand. He repeatedly made eye contact with her, the complaint said.
When police knocked on Schwarzhoff’s window, they found him with his pants unzipped and his genitals exposed, according to the complaint.
Schwarzhoff, a human resources representative for Dart Transit, told officers he had stopped for lunch, parked, started watching pornography on his phone and “decided to masturbate,” according to the complaint. He said it wasn’t the first time he’d done so, the complaint said.
While the list of jokes surrounding his name are probably unending, it only seems appropriate to ask Lazy Lightning readers to fill in the blanks. So, please have at it and may the Schwarz be with you while you take matters in your own hands (sorry, couldn’t resist). Oh, and if you’re not into jokes then maybe you can chime in on whether you believe the Pioneer Press should have published his position and place of employment in the newspaper article.
So whatever you have to say about this one go ahead and comment on as I’d love to hear what hilarious things you have to say about this one.