Long ago, back in 2005 actually, we visited Piccolo’s Pizza in Eagan on multiple occasions and always recommended it as a place people should go if they were looking for a place to eat pizza in Eagan. After not visiting the location in nearly 7 years and having it change ownership in the mean time, we decided to head on over and give it another shot.
We arrived at the restaurant before 7:30 on a Friday night and found the previously horrendous decor slightly updated. Out were the analog TV with rabbit ears and dark and dimly lit interior and in was a slightly rearranged dining setup. The menu remained fairly similar but with a few new additions and many of the same familiar options from our fond memories of 2005.
We took a seat in a booth along the wall and our friendly server stopped by to take our drink orders. She arrived soon after with three paper cups, two filled with water and one half-filled with milk for The Rooster. We looked over the menu and decided to get an order of Buffalo Chicken Rolls, a pepperoni and mushroom Calzone, a strawberry shake, and a medium mushroom pizza (cut into slices, not those ridiculous squares). There were plenty of other options including the Pizza Fries we loved in 2005 and hoagies in addition to the usual pizza place favorites.
By 8:00 PM, over 30 minutes since we placed our order, the Buffalo Chicken Rolls were out. Described on the menu as: “chicken tenderloins marinated in hot sauce and then rolled up in dough just like our pizza rolls.” We ordered 4 for $6.75 and they came out looking similar to my world famous chicken and cheese stuffed breadsticks. I took one and cut it in half revealing quite a bit of marinated chicken, very little cheese, and a lot of empty space. While the menu noted the chicken was supposed to be marinated in hot sauce, 50% of ours were marinated in what tasted like Italian dressing. The pieces marinated in dressing tasted off and were nearly inedible. The Rooster wouldn’t touch his pieces at all and The Wife and I kept wondering what was wrong with them. Eventually we hit the two rolls with white meat chicken inside revealing a very mediocre and mainly boring bread-tasting appetizer that really shouldn’t be served anymore. Honestly, while I may have unrealistic expectations about what these should have been like, if I can make something very similar (on paper) at home in less than 20 minutes, I expected something incredible at a pizza shop in 30+. One word sums up our experience with the Buffalo Chicken Rolls: bleh.
After finishing our rolls, we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited some more for our pizza to arrive. While it was a Friday night and the very busy restaurant of three tables (us included) and two takeout orders total, I honestly didn’t expect a calzone and a medium pizza to take an additional 30 minutes to arrive at the table. But alas, they did.
The pizza ($11.20), while requested it be cut into slices rather than ridiculous squares, arrived as the latter. It had a very hard and crunchy but tasteless crust which brought back such fond and awful memories of the previously disgusting Buffalo Chicken Rolls. The sauce lacked any and all flavor, the mushrooms were canned and/or jarred, and overall even The Rooster was not in the mood to eat this one. Even though I was hungry I only ate about 1/2 of the small pizza and had the rest get boxed up to go home. While this wasn’t as disgusting as the Buffalo Chicken Rolls, there’s a reason why they weren’t doing brisk business this Friday night–because the pizza flat out sucked–bad. Later, on the way home, I noted that I would have rather eaten a pie from the now defunct and previous winner of The Most Awful Pizza in the South Metro, Linwood Pizza, than this one. Being that I noted Linwood was worse than even the worst school cafeteria pizza, you can only imagine how utterly disgusting Piccolo’s pizza was on that particular evening.
While I was fighting my way through the new Worst Pizza in the South Metro award winner, I noted The Wife’s reaction to her calzone ($5.75). Her face in a grimace, she was actively scraping the oregano piled from the top of the pocket with a fork. I asked her what was wrong and she simply said, “I don’t like this oregano flavor.” I had her cut me a piece and I popped it in my mouth hoping to get rid of the awful pizza flavor. Unfortunately, and I don’t take this statement lightly considering my rant about their pizza and the slew of absolutely awful places we’ve eaten around the area, but Piccolo’s Pizza’s calzone was, hands down, the single most disgusting item of food I’ve ever eaten in a restaurant, ever. I later commended The Wife, being pregnant and all, for making her way through half of the calzone because I honestly could not have eaten another piece without throwing up all over the table. No honey, it’s not the oregano you didn’t like, it was the entire thing. No food item should taste like what Piccolo’s Pizzeria served to our table that night and the fact that it made me–someone who has eaten pig’s uterus of all things–gag means that Piccolo’s food is simply inedible.
The Wife had to remind our server about her strawberry shake and it arrived a few minutes later filled to the brim and topped with imitation whipped cream. The shake itself was fine, nothing special and certainly not flavorful enough to erase the nightmare we had just finished, but the extra ice cream provided in the metal cup was huge and enough to take home with us.
While we boxed both us to take home, I did it simply as an experiment to see if a good night’s sleep would refresh my tastebuds and give me a more objective view of the food the next day. Well, needless to say, 12 hours did little to revive my interest in Piccolo’s offerings and I have to say that I’d rather eat rancid dead-cat roadkill than what we were served at Piccolo’s on Friday night.
Overall, Piccolo’s Pizza in Eagan definitely has not aged well and definitely has gone downhill since our last visit in 2005. Not only do I not recommend you go there to eat, I highly suggest you avoid the entire area all together for fear that this horrendous pizza may attach your clothes and spread to other local pizzerias and spur a negative revolution in the area and all pizza will degrade to their horrendous level. While the pizza, rolls, and calzone were terrible perhaps the biggest crime is that Piccolo’s still refuses to take anything except cash and/or check. Please, Piccolo’s, just do us all a favor and close your doors. You’re so far out of the loop on what constitutes a decent restaurant that it just makes the most sense for you to simply go away and leave us with the positive memories made prior to 2012 and hope we all forget this unbelievably miserable and award-winning dining experience.
Have you eaten at Piccolo’s Pizza in Eagan lately? Have you eaten there prior to the new management taking over a year or more ago? What did you order and what was your thoughts on it? Where else in Eagan do you prefer to get your pizza? Are you surprised that a pizzeria is still ignoring credit cards in 2012? Whatever you have to say about this one go ahead and comment on as I’d love to hear what you have to say.
Address:
Piccolo’s Pizzeria
4162 Pilot Knob Rd
Eagan, MN 55122
Telephone:
651-454-1212
See all the pictures from our absolutely awful experience at Piccolo’s Pizzeria on Flickr here.
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April 9th, 2012 at 8:06 am
I used to go to the Dry Cleaners in the same strip mall and remembered it used to smell good.. but never went there. Sorry you had a horrible experience, I’ll be sure to avoid it!
April 9th, 2012 at 8:22 am
I used to go there all the time…15 years ago. It was a nice upgrade at the time from Pizza N Pasta, which still sit on the top of my worst pizza ever chart.
I have not had Piccolos in at least 10 years and I don’t think I would go back now with or without your review, but thanks for the heads up.
Do they still have Ms. Pac Man there?
April 9th, 2012 at 8:27 am
Yeah but they’re running a multiple game ROM and the controls suck.
April 9th, 2012 at 8:51 am
On Thursday night I was at Groveland Tap to watch the Gopher hockey game and my buddy challenged me to a Ms. Pac Man (table) game, and indicated he had “never lost” in his life.
The controls were terrible and one of the ghosts was virtually invisible and the best either of us could do was get to the apple screen. I beat him with a score less than 23 thousand. It was pathetic.
April 9th, 2012 at 8:57 am
Quite but not as pathetic as MSPD ditching the Ramadan meetup.
April 9th, 2012 at 9:36 am
If Jesus Christ would have risen on the 4th or 5th day, it wouldn’t have been an issue.
Anyway…maybe I’ll make the meetup you’ll schedule for December 24th.
April 9th, 2012 at 9:48 am
I haven’t been here in quite a few years, either, and it’s too bad that it’s gone downhill so far, as we really enjoyed the pizza we had there. Ah well, there are plenty of other options for my picky pizza palate.
April 9th, 2012 at 9:49 am
bill, what does pig uterus taste like?
April 9th, 2012 at 10:13 am
Wow, sounds like an awful meal. We ate there once or twice years ago, but I honestly dont remember anything about it, other than they had some sort of pizza fries, as you mentioned.
Guess there is no need to hurry back.
April 9th, 2012 at 11:52 am
MSPD, I’ll be sure to avoid having any and all future events on any day because celebrating the birth and death dates of those who lived more than 2000 years ago clearly take precedence over the anything occurring for those alive today.
Ryan, it tastes like wet and dirty socks: http://www.lazylightning.org/destiny-cafe-st-paul-mn
April 9th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
When you save humanity, I’ll celebrate special moments in your life as well.
Until then, you’ll take a back seat to just about anything/everything.
April 9th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
He never saved humanity, just supposedly their souls.
April 9th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
OK..we’ll set that as your bar then.
April 9th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
Ok, I saved your soul. Feel free to attempt to disprove me :-)
April 9th, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Yeah….uh….no.
April 9th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Bummer. I was really looking forward to eating some crow.
April 9th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Crappy pizza and theological musings… where else does one get that in the TC?
April 9th, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Crappy pizza is the norm for most joints these days. When one finds an exceptional pizza joint that constantly amazes you, you don’t mind paying a few $$ more or driving a few extra miles. So…. my $$ go to Pizzeria Lola. (Bill you knew it was coming….)
MSPD, ya missed some good food and good people. (I don’t know what Bill did for you, but it must be a good story…)
April 10th, 2012 at 1:28 am
I love it when you have a terrible experience Bill. It makes for great reading!
I love the great ones too. The terrible ones, though…I mean, what would we do without being able to reference Teresa’s, Ernie’s, and now Piccolo’s?
April 10th, 2012 at 7:12 am
I know it’s been mentioned a couple of times by others but I don’t think you’ve ever reviewed it. Old World Pizza (aka The Pizza Factory before they moved) has been my favorite for 30 years. Great sausage, spicy sauce, loads of cheese. Although, they do cut the pizza into little squares… They do a lunch buffet everyday and on some evenings.
April 10th, 2012 at 7:36 am
Thanks Matt. I’ll hit it up when I get a chance.
April 10th, 2012 at 8:13 am
Sounds like my kind of meetup, LOL — but clearly NOT at Piccolos!
April 10th, 2012 at 8:13 am
Bill,
Re: Old World
You won’t like it. It is typical overdone Minnesota boring pizza,
I have a few co-workers that rave about it. And Applebees.
April 10th, 2012 at 8:54 am
For what they do, I think they do it well. They certainly don’t deserve to be associated with Applebees in anyway. According to their website they make their sauce, sausage and crust from scratch. I should clarify – spicy pizza sauce description is coming from a Minnesotan. Perhaps I should just say it’s not bland.
April 10th, 2012 at 9:02 am
Matt G
I have had OWP. I don’t even disagree with you that it is probably superior to most of the typical Minnesota pizza you can get around town, but I just don’t think our curmudgeonly host would like it one bit.
April 10th, 2012 at 9:27 am
lefty, I think there’s a difference between “not liking it one bit,” and wanting to throw up all over the table like I did at Piccolo’s.
You’re right, I have absolutely no interest in Midwestern-style pizzas and I can’t fathom how anyone who has eaten other pies can stomach them but I certainly can appreciate one being at the top of the genre (even if that means winning the Special Olympics).
It sounds like OWP may be a winner and I’m happy to give my assessment of it. Even if I can’t stand the style, perhaps the pieces as individuals will shine even if the whole is below average due to the poor tastes of those who wouldn’t know a good pizza if I told them about it 75 other times.
April 10th, 2012 at 10:22 am
Wow Bill, I think I touched a nerve with a thumbser-downer who didn’t appreciate choosing Easter weekend over the meetup. Score one for the atheists/agnostics I guess.
Re: Old World Pizza, the draw there is the “Top of the Line” pizza. Everything else is fairly average including the buffet. The Top of the Line is distinctive due to its sheer mass. Think Brianno’s style (not as good) but 2-3″ — literally — thick with assorted toppings including a large meat quotient. It is a massive thing to lift to your car much less eat.
We used to live a couple hundred yards from their original location and it was a staple when we had people over. There was always leftovers no matter how many people were there. I kind of miss it, actually.
April 10th, 2012 at 11:04 am
Wow, I never thought something could taste worse than Pizza Man or B&B in Farmington.
April 10th, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Top of the Line – $11.95 – 10″ $18.95 – 14″
Our finest creation made with sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, green olives, bacon bits and sauerkraut (optional). 10″ (approx weight: 2lbs) 14″ (approx weight: 4lbs)
MSPD-You should do some strength training to go along with all that biking. It should not be that difficult to get a 4 pound pizza to your car.
April 13th, 2012 at 9:52 am
Like you, we hadn’t been there in years. We stopped in and ordered a few gyros. They took forever to come. There was a family in there (I believe the owner’s, or friends..they knew each other) and the kids were running all around. The family there were also talking about all sorts of private and inappropriate things that we couldn’t help but overhear…money, etc.
The gyros were just terrible. Tasteless in a way that no amount of salt would fix. The tahini ( I think that’s what it was) was just odd tasting. The gal serving us was also very scatterbrained.
I feel bad ragging on a local business because I like supporting them, but we won’t be back.
April 14th, 2012 at 7:08 pm
I had eaten at piccolo’s pizza a couple of times after I moved into the neighborhood (this is like 10 years ago). All I can remember is that both times, it tasted like canned spaghetti-o’s on cardboard crust with overcooked cheese on top.
Seriously, the flavor was EXACTLY canned spaghetti-o’s.
December 26th, 2012 at 7:35 am
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