From the South metro police blotter on the StarTribune. See the original (until the link dies) here.
On March 15th, a kid ignored his mother’s advice and almost froze like that:
Medical. Officer Karen Shaw received a call of a medical emergency at a residence. Upon arrival, Shaw found an 18-year-old man laying on the floor in the living room. “His head was cocked at an odd angle and he told me he was in pain and his neck was stuck in that position,” Shaw said. The man said, “I was talking on the telephone for a long time and my neck is now stuck in this position.”
On March 17th, someone fucked up their car and then people tried to help by picking up the car. I’m not sure what hurt worse:
Auto accident. Officer Karen Shaw was called to a problem with an automobile on a private road in front of Taco Bell. When Shaw arrived, the woman who had been driving the vehicle was standing next to it. A 12-foot pothole had developed and the woman drove into it and couldn’t get her car out. Bystanders had tried to lift the car out of the pothole. A tow truck removed the car. Code enforcement officers are working with the property owner to get the pothole repaired.
Sometime during the week of March 7th and 14th, this guy was just waiting to get on the interstate, why, what did you think he was doing?
Drunk driving. Sergeant Chad Hagen was on patrol late at night when he located a vehicle sitting at a green light at the intersection of 185th Street and County Road 50. The vehicle sat at the green light through the entire cycle and didn’t proceed, so Hagen activated his emergency lights on his squad car and walked up to the car to check on the driver. When he approached the driver, he asked what he was doing. The driver replied, “Just waiting to get on the interstate. Why, what are you doing?” Hagen detected the odor of alcohol and asked the driver to step out of the car to perform a field sobriety test. The driver failed the test and recorded over twice the legal limit. The driver was arrested and taken to jail.