Lots of gems in today’s Star Tribune South Metro Police Blotter:

Theft Depot:

Burglary (Eagan). All Saints Lutheran church at 3010 Lexington Av. S. was broken into. A hammer and screwdrivers were missing from the pastor’s office.

Burglary (Eagan). Two officers responded to a similar call to take a report at the Trinity Lone Oak Church at 2950 Hwy 55.

Theft (Jordan). A drill valued at $1,500 was taken from an unlocked vehicle in the area of 3rd Street and Broadway Street.

Doesn’t everyone have $2000 worth of shit in their gym bag?:

Theft. A man from Burnsville reported that his gym bag with all the contents was stolen from his locker at a business in Savage. Estimated loss about $2,000.

My, what a big third leg you have:

Obscenity. A business in the 5800 block of Egan Drive reported a male fondling himself. Upon arrival officers determined that the man had a leg injury.

Related posts:

1. Let Me Guess, Blue Moon?
2. South Metro Police Are Completely Overworked!
3. Stolen Goods
4. Suspicious? Really? You’re Kidding Me!
5. Sweet Shit!